


Save Me, Save Me

by pumpkinsake



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, In Dream Suicide Attempt, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sexual Content, young mchanzo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 18:25:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14676828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinsake/pseuds/pumpkinsake
Summary: The three had been wandering for months. Where, they weren't sure. They only knew away. Jesse away from his building criminal record, the brothers away from their family. Shacking up on cold rooftops and shady motels, stealing dinner from small shops and side stands. Living life on the run. But when Jesse can't escape his nightmares, Hanzo comes to his aid in the form of a body to hold at night.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, I am back! Hopefully to bring you something a little less sad than my previous story. This one was inspired by BTS' music videos for "Run" and "Spring Day" which just features the boys on the run, bouncing from place to place, causing trouble. At first it was just going to be an excuse for pointless smut, but then... I had to throw a giant handful of angst in there. Hanzo, Genji, and McCree are around their early twenties in this. I'm thinking it will be about three or four parts, and explicit rating is for later chapters! Enjoy.

_Red. So much red._

 

_The sky brewed with angry smoke, sun disappearing against the horizon. It painted the world violent red. Jesse's attention stretched for miles, hooking into the fleeing sun. He wasn't sure if it was the sun creating the glow of red or the wound on his head dripping a glossy film of blood over his eyes. He pressed the tip of his gun into his temple. Peacekeeper. He used to smirk at the irony of the name, but the energy escaped him._

 

_Click. His finger tugged at the trigger._

 

_Click. Again and again, waiting on the blow that would never come._

 

_Click._

 

_Jesse's attention stretched for miles._

 

_Dead. So many of them dead._

 

_Jesse clicked the gun one last time, still holding it with a steady arm. Only feet in front of him, a woman's breathless body. A face much like his own. Bronze skin, honey eyes. Blood. Blood spattered on her face, dripping onto the earth from her open mouth. A face much like his own. A face that would haunt his memories forever._

 

_They used him and this was his fault. The gun clicked. Jesse closed his eyes._

 

The first time it happened, Jesse thought he was a goner. Shot awake in the dead of night, a figure hovering over him. Someone knew, the hotel found out they bought their room with a fraudulent card. They caught wind of every store the group robbed along the way. The police were here to carry him back to jail where he belonged.

 

But it wasn't police. It was Hanzo. Terrifying and dangerous. Standing in only loose fitting sweat pants, running his fingers through disheveled hair. Heavy eyed and guilty for a crime he had yet to commit. He crawled onto the couch with Jesse, despite his good spot on the queen sized mattress with his brother. Cuddling into the other man, he shared the warmth.

 

Without a word, without an excuse. As he did most things, and fell asleep before Jesse had a chance to question. Hanzo never spoke, except to his brother in private, and he never said a thing to Jesse. Not since the day they met. So to have him crawling into his sleeping space was a surprise. Jesse didn't protest, knowing none of them slept well. He took in the scent of the hotel shampoo and felt Hanzo's strong arm circle his waist. That blue hoodie he donned on their journey didn't do his muscular body justice. Jesse laid awake with wonder the entire night, encapsulated in soothing warmth.

 

Before the sun could peek between the blinds, an alarm sounded. And no quicker than he laid to rest, Hanzo was away from the couch. In the bathroom before the other two could beat him. Quick, efficient, packing their things as the other two struggled to wake up. Jesse groaned, face against the arm of the couch. He only fell asleep half an hour ago. He spent the entire night stiff as a board, afraid any movement would wake his sudden companion. And he didn't want to wake him with a surprise prodding him in the hip.

 

Genji awoke as if his brother never left the bed, unaware he slept alone for the night. A swirl of green danced on the bed, twirling around his body, playing beneath the puffy hotel blanket. He yawned, the slender dragon coiling along the arm he stretched above his head. Hanzo muttered something in Japanese to his brother, and Genji responded with a curt, “I know.” The dragon disappeared with a spark and the room lost its hazy green glow. “We should get going,” he stated to Jesse as he slid his feet off the edge of the bed. As fast as they came, the three grabbed their things and ran from the hotel before anyone caught on.

 

The group had been wandering for months now. Where to, they weren't sure. They only knew away. Jesse away from countless crimes building on his record towards life in jail. Genji and Hanzo from their family. Genji because he would not abide by their rules, Hanzo because he could not any longer. Genji loved to talk about his family and their past, but Hanzo never said a word. The only time he spoke, it was to his brother in Japanese. For the first month, Jesse assumed he couldn't speak English. Turned out Hanzo never wanted to speak to him. Jesse didn't ask questions as they all came together by chance. They saved him from jail.

 

“Colder than a witch's tit up here,” Jesse grunted as he over looked the rooftop. Their makeshift home they built atop an old city building for the night. He forced his hands under his armpits, hunching his shoulders in the attempt to keep warm. His brown leather jacket was losing its warmth and the fingers had unraveled from his gloves. One day they would all find better attire. Steal better attire. Somewhere behind him, Hanzo narrowed his eyes in confused disgust at the phrase. He shouldered his backpack, and disappeared back down the apartment stairway.

 

Genji threw down his rolled up sleeping bag, letting his pack slide to the ground beside it. “Sorry, couldn't snag a credit card, so this will have to do for now.” Familiar green slithered out, snapping the tie on the bag and crawling into the warm comfort. Every time Jesse saw the little noodle, it never grew less unusual. It acted like a pet, snuggled up to Genji for warmth and cuddles. Played, ran, caused trouble. Hissed at Hanzo, bit at Jesse's pants in curiosity. But it was a dragon. A glowing one. “Hanzo's going to grab us something to eat.”

 

Jesse looked behind him, expecting to see Hanzo standing there, but he was already gone. Quick before anyone could see him. Quiet, as usual. The brothers had money, carrying cash they nabbed before leaving their home. They only used stolen credit cards as many hotels didn't accept cash. And Genji started robbing small stores with Jesse for the thrill. “Your parents must've been real bad for you to leave comfort like that,” Jesse muttered. He fished a crushed pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Opening the box, he sneered at the last cigarette bumbling inside. Should have asked Hanzo to grab him more before he left. “I ain't ever had a dollar in my life.”

 

“We had a lot.” Genji attempted to flatten out his sleeping bag, his dragon rolling out to swirl around his feet. He cursed at it in his language, the dragon pausing for a moment and hunching back, offended. It pounced away, chasing after a hoard of pigeons perched on the edge of the building. Like a pet. But it was a dragon. Jesse shook his head, patting his front jacket pocket for his lighter. “But it wasn't safe. I've known since I was a kid that the teachings of our elders were not kind.”

 

Jesse slipped the lighter from his pocket, turning away from the wind that coursed over the cold roof. He lit the end of his cigarette, taking in the first relieving drag, his smoke chasing the current. He only met kindness a few times in his life. Once when a small gang swept him up after his mother passed, although he did not deserve their protection. It didn't last. They were no longer in his life. Again when the brothers risked their cover throwing themselves in his mess to save him from jail. He exhaled, remembering Hanzo's stare, cowered together in the alley seconds after meeting. Jesse didn't trust anyone else.

 

“Hanzo used to feel the same.” Genji wandered towards the edge of the building, overlooking the quiet streets below. A couple blocks down, he watched his brother duck into the closest convenience store. “But he grew accustom to their rules. Trained harder, changed. He became quiet, reclusive, and tired.” He took a seat on the edge of the apartment complex, letting his feet dangle over the side. The loose shoelaces of his green sneakers swayed towards the ground. “He strives for perfection to please our family.”

 

Flicking the ash from his cigarette at his side, Jesse took a seat along the edge of the building as well. Feet planted on the ground, back to the street so he couldn't see below. “Why did you both run then?” It was obvious Genji was not in charge between the two brothers. Hanzo called the shots, and although he did so with rolled eyes, Genji listened. “Sounds like they brainwashed him. Your idea to up and leave, then?”

 

“Not mine.” Genji folded his hands between his thighs, staring into the street. They were high up enough to remain unnoticed. Hanzo would make sure that no one would ever know they were there. “One night he woke me up with our things packed and said we must leave.” Without a word, without an excuse. As he did most things. “He did say that if we did not leave, something terrible would happen. And I trusted him.”

 

Since bumping into each other, the trio had traveled miles across the United States. Somehow the young brothers had managed to skip out of their country undetected. But they were unlikely forgotten. “Think your family's out lookin' for you?” Jesse questioned through a steam of smoke. He blew it behind him, peeking back into the street. A quiet town, although filled with tall apartment complexes and buildings. He could tell that despite the crowded building forms, many sat unoccupied.

 

“I'm sure. If not me, definitely Hanzo. He was a strong heir to our family. Hanzo said they wanted us to rule together, but I was only back up should something happen to him.” Like their brainwashing falling through. Like Hanzo running away from his home and taking his little brother with him. Like teaming up with a twenty-three year old degenerate. Shacking up in random hotels and starting a record of petty theft should they ever get caught. Plenty of things his family never factored in when training the eldest brother to be a stone cold leader. “Don't know what measures they will go to find us, but I'm sure they haven't given up.”

 

Jesse stared at the younger brother through another puff of smoke. He was so unlike his brother. Generally upbeat, approachable. Body at ease, mind rested. He had his troubles like they all did, but did not let them stand in his way. He understood the risk of running, but the even bigger risk of returning to his clan. There was no safety there. And he trusted his brother. Jesse liked to hope they trusted him too. “Who is looking for you, Jesse McCree?” Genji's voice sailed through the cold current, sending a shiver through his body. No one. No one was looking for him. “Is there family out there for you?” His cigarette didn't taste so good anymore. He crushed it into the concrete of the roof, letting it join the litter than decorated the edge.

 

Jesse shrugged, staring across the way where Genji's dragon rolled against the rooftop. Happy, carefree, knowing it had a home even as they traveled. He remembered his mother. Even though they rumbled from one state to the next, he had a place to call home in her arms. He hadn't felt at home since she died. Hadn't cried, either. “No one,” he grunted, leaning his head back towards the sky. The sun had almost disappeared now, taking the glorious reds and violets with it. He sighed, relieved. He didn't much care for the color red. At least not in the sky. “Never knew my dad. Mom's no longer with us.” He pressed his hand against his chest. Her face.

 

Everyone said he looked like her. He said she was much too pretty. Even in death, staring at him with vacant eyes and a bloodied mouth. She was much prettier than the monster he was. It was his fault.

 

A hand rested on his shoulder and Jesse snapped his body upright. Hand still on his chest, heart hammering into his palm. Genji stared at him and mouthed something as Jesse grew aware of the painful screech in his ear. The same piercing tone as the one after he unloaded every bullet in his Peacekeeper. The siren dissipated and Genji muttered, “I'm sorry.” The rooftop fell silent and the sun had set.

 

“Yeah...” He felt weak and wondered how long he had been in his own mind. Like one of his nightmares. “There was a group I ran with after mom passed, but then they left me. I was alone for a while before ya'll came along.”

 

“Having family does not always mean they are good for you. I am very fortunate to have my brother, at least.” Genji smiled towards the street, pulling his foot up to tie his shoe. Jesse was lucky to have both of them.

 

The three collided months before after Jesse fumbled stealing from a small store. He had not eaten in days and his nightmares had him running on fumes. His vision grew blurry from delusional sleep deprivation. He knew if he didn't get anything in his system, he would crash hard. Usually he could pocket snacks, but his unstable body stumbled into a magazine rack on the way out. Had he been in his right mind, he would have played it cool. But his tired instinct told him to run. So he ran, and the shop owners followed.

 

He didn't remember much upon leaving the grocery store. There was a tremendous crash and a pair of strong arms forcing him down an alley. He was too weak to fight, stumbling over himself. Someone cradled him in a kneeling position beside a discarded freight crate. The warmth, the calm warmth that flooded his body gave him safety in the arms of this stranger. “I will not harm you,” Hanzo said to him, one hand over Jesse's mouth. Close enough to keep him silent, enough space to let him breathe. Jesse stared at him as if an angel swept from heaven to take him to the pearly gates. It could have been his weakness, but he almost cried, he had never seen a man so beautiful.

 

But it was only Hanzo, someone as tired and terrified as he was. Crouched down in the alley, his other arm around Jesse's shoulders. Keeping him close to his out of control heart, holding in shaking breaths. Hanzo would glance down and wipe away the sick sweat that gathered on his forehead. Taking care of a stranger who owed him nothing. When Hanzo wasn't looking him in the eye, staring instead down the alley, Jesse thought he saw blue. A quiet blue, sleepy and calm. Safe. He felt safe.

 

When the commotion ceased, Hanzo took him to where the brothers set up camp. They fed him and let him sleep for almost an entire day. Jesse later found out that Genji crashed his bike into a car outside the shop as a distraction. It cost him his bike, but they saved his life that day. If not for them, he would be in jail.

 

“One day you might be my family.” Genji whistled, slinging his foot back over, watching the storefront his brother occupied. Jesse and Genji exchanged a glance, Genji with a side smirk and Jesse with a confused raised eyebrow. “My brother likes you.”

 

Jesse bit his lip, hiding the beginning of a smile. “He told you that?”

 

“Ah, no, but I can tell.” Genji looked back into the street. Jesse thought about how many times they shared a sleeping space at this point. At first it was the one night, then a couple more. Now almost every other night. But they never talked about it, Hanzo always immediately fell asleep. The only obvious moments that Hanzo had a shred of hospitality towards him. All while Genji was asleep. Otherwise, he never spoke to him. Filtered all his messages through Genji. Rushed him on their journey, and kept to himself while they traveled. “I know my brother. I know his type.”

 

“Grungy delinquent who hasn't showered in three days? Not much of a type,” Jesse laughed and Genji chuckled himself, pulling his knees up towards his body. Not that Jesse had a type himself. He hadn't thought about or given that kind of affection towards anyone in a while. No time. No one to give it to for a while, either.

 

“Hanzo's standards are not high.”

 

“Gee, thanks.” Jesse turned his body to let his legs drape over the edge of the building, keeping a watchful eye on the street. Despite the terrible cold, the sky was calm. The sun put an end to their day, a speckling of stars plastered on the midnight blue. Hanzo would be back soon assuming everything went alright. He liked to do errands alone. As if he didn't give himself enough time to think. “Does Hanzo have a dragon like you?”

 

Genji leaned forward, peering towards the bottom of the building beneath them. People bustled by without a clue that they set up home on the roof of this place. It would be a frail home, as they all were, but a temporary safety on their endless journey. To where, they didn't know. Only away. “He does.”

 

His own dragon curled around his waist and along his arm, glaring down to the hundred foot drop beneath them. The coil of green hissed, slithering behind them and busying itself with a nearby bird. Jesse smiled. Like a weird cat. “How come I never see it? Yours is always walkin' around here.”

 

“Hanzo has not seen them himself since we were children.”

 

“Them?” Genji's dragon pranced after the bird, tumbling until the creature fluttered away. The young brother reached behind him and tapped his fingers against the ground. His dragon immediately scurried over, taking rest between the two.

 

“He has two. Not sure if it's first born luck, or if he needs the help. But... he has not seen them since we were young.” Clouds rolled through the sky, the speckles of stars disappearing behind them. Still calm, still cold, but threatening rain. Of course during the time they set up home on a roof. “Mine shows up when I'm feeling safe. I imagine that is why Hanzo's are never around.” Jesse reached down between them and patted the dragon on the head. It arched its long body with a vibrating chirp. The green noodle slithered its way into his lap, its tail dusting the edge of the rooftop. “Mine is there when I am happy, when I'm most like myself. And in very rare form, when I need protection.”

 

Jesse smiled. Warmth soaked into his fingertips as he traced the scales down the creatures back. “You must feel pretty comfortable because yours never goes away.”

 

“I am comfortable with myself. I have an easier time recognizing my emotions.” Genji lifted his head when he noticed his brother exciting the store with groceries to tie them over. “Hanzo... my dragon does not like him.” The little creature stirred in Jesse's lap, the strip of fur down its back rising in apprehension. Jesse also stared down towards Hanzo as he approached the base of the apartment building. The older brother looked up towards the sky, bags hanging at his sides, watching the clouds tumble by. Far off in the distance, a zap of lightening, followed shortly there after by a low rumble of thunder. Hanzo stood, eyes to the sky. Lips parted before he crossed his gaze with Jesse's. Once he snagged his attention, he disappeared up the apartment steps. He liked him, hm? Had a weird way of showing it.

 

Hanzo appeared behind them, setting down the plastic bags next to their sleeping bags. The second Genji's dragon caught his scent, he disappeared into his sleeve with an angry hiss. Hanzo wandered over, plopping a bag in his brother's lap. They exchanged a few words unknown to Jesse and Genji began sorting out the contents. Simple things like crackers, meat, and cheese. A container of mixed nuts, bottles of water, and a snack cake. Hanzo reached over his brother's shoulder and snatched up the dessert. He pointed into the bag, said one more thing to Genji and brought his attention up to glance at Jesse for a moment.

 

Jesse admired the brief shared stare. Hanzo peering at him from behind a curtain of disheveled dark hair. He protected the snack cake against his chest and turned towards their sleeping bags. Genji pulled out a pack of cigarettes and tossed them towards his companion with a smirk. “Hanzo says he bought you these, even though he doesn't support the habit. But knows everyone needs a way to work through stress.” Jesse caught the pack with ease, staring at the cheap container with half a smile. Didn't even have to ask. Hanzo already knew. Paid more attention than he thought.

 

The rain rolled through and continued into the night when they finally laid down to sleep. There wasn't much of an awning on the roof, and it wasn't the best place to set up camp to keep dry. But it was safest to keep them out of the sights of others. Genji found a tarp discarded out the back door of a restaurant and draped it over their sleeping space. Genji and Hanzo slept in their respective sleeping bags on one side of their tiny fire, Jesse on the other. It was freezing, and neither the fire nor his sleeping bag kept him warm. He crossed his arms within the bag, wearing his leather coat and now finger-less gloves. Sleep wasn't happening tonight.

 

He stared across the fire where Hanzo had his back turned to him. Genji passed out, almost face down in his bunched up hoodie he used as a pillow. Jesse waited, expecting Hanzo to get up at some point to come sleep by his side. He did almost every night, why did tonight have to be different? Jesse could ask. Genji was asleep, he would never know. And even if he did, it wasn't a surprise. But Jesse kept quiet because he never had to ask. Hanzo always did, as he did everything. Jesse wished he did it quicker before his fingers fell off from the cold.

 

Reaching his hand towards the dull fire, he was almost tempted to dig his fingers into the ashes to keep warm. Anything was better than the chill that soaked his bones. His vision blurred for a moment as the fire popped, dying in the cold, dreary rain. Jesse looked past his fingers, his vision tracing the outline of Hanzo's resting form. The puffy sleeping bag wrapped tight around his broad shoulders. Long midnight hair pooling against the damp concrete, fire flickering against its sheen. “Get over here,” Jesse grunted in his mind, narrowing his eyes to better focus on his fingers. “I'm freezing.”

 

His fingers twitched before the fire and he finally drew his hand back towards his body. He wondered if Genji even knew that Hanzo came to sleep with him on a near nightly basis. They never did anything more than sleep. Sometimes Hanzo would wrap his arms around him. But only because otherwise there wasn't enough space on the couch between them. No kissing, no touching. Only close sleeping. Hanzo did an awful lot of squirming in his sleep, though. Which of course stirred something in Jesse that he struggled to hide each time it happened. But it seemed to calm Hanzo, sleeping together, so he let him. He didn't mind the company.

 

Jesse embraced himself, staring into the fire instead of his sleeping companions. It flickered dull reds and oranges and he shut his eyes, wincing. He hated the color red.

 

_When he opened his eyes, he stood in that same desolate field. His attention stretched for miles, over a barren wasteland of the dead. So many of them dead. Each with a bullet pierced between their eyes. The sky violent, red. So red._

 

_Jesse swallowed. Click. The barrel still empty, tip to his temple. Click. Click. Click._

 

_Before him, his mother. Standing, arms outstretched as she offered her embrace. He looked so much like her, people said. But she had kindness in her eyes. Although tormented, faded. Without their golden color. Draining sadness down her sunken features. Bullet wound above her left eyebrow. Blood. Red blood pooling from her mouth. Jesse stared at her. He looked nothing like her. She was much more beautiful._

 

_Somewhere behind her, another woman. She yelled, hand outstretched to him. Her image was blurry, he couldn't recognize her face. But although he did not see her features, he knows her. Or he knew her. She left him. She left him and he did this. Her words drowned by the incessant click as he pulled the trigger, over and over with no release._

 

_He did this. He deserved the worst._

 

_His mother reached out, brushing her bloodied fingers against his cheek. The woman in the distance continued to yell, begging him to stop. But he wouldn't listen. They left him. And this was his fault. The gun clicked. Jesse closed his eyes._

 

He woke with a sharp inhale, startled by Hanzo kneeling before him. His eyes read tired, half lidded and red around the edges. Jesse somehow fell asleep, the fire burned out behind him. Rain continued to pour and Hanzo had been standing in it long enough for his clothes to soak through. “What are you doing?” Jesse muttered, unzipping the side of his sleeping bag, offering the space inside. It wouldn't be a comfortable fit, but he assumed that's what Hanzo was kneeling there for. He crawled in without hesitance, and Jesse welcomed the archer into the safety of his arms. “You're soaked. You're gonna get sick.”

 

Hanzo slithered out of his hoodie and shirt underneath, leaving his cool, wet skin exposed. Jesse immediately wrapped him in his leather jacket to protect him from the bitter cold. Hanzo slid his arms around Jesse's chest, drawing his body close. Pressing his ear into his chest, listening to the uneven beating of his heart. His restless breath. Quiet, strong, comforting. Jesse adjusted the two of them closer, bundling them in the puffy fabric. Legs tangled within the sleeping bag, ready to settle into their familiar silence.

 

Except tonight, he wasn't ready for silence. He had let Hanzo be a mystery for long enough.

 

“Why do you do this every night?” Jesse muttered with his chin pressed above Hanzo's forehead. He stared through the little light that reflected off the rooftop in the rain. A soft green glow penetrated the puffy sleeping bag, keeping Genji safe as he slept alone. “Help ya sleep?”

 

Hanzo hummed, and Jesse shuddered at the warm breath he spread along the skin of his collar bone. His hands grabbed Hanzo's waist, thumb trailing the elastic band of his sweat pants. Over the firm dip of his hip bone. Hanzo remained silent, reaching down to pull away Jesse's hand. He brought it between the two of them in front of his mouth, pouring warm breath over it. More effective than the sad fire they built earlier. He felt that familiar pull in his jeans and pushed his hips away. Or else his arousal would start digging into Hanzo's thigh. “Listen, I know you don't actually like me.” Despite what Genji said. This sharing bed space was a necessity. For warmth, right? He would talk to him otherwise. “You've made that obvious. So why do you do this every night?”

 

Hanzo bit his lip, only inches from bringing them against the man's freezing digits. His hips squirmed beneath the sleeping bag. Jesse had to swallow down a light moan when the man brushed his strong thigh against the pop in Jesse's pants. Now he was teasing. There was no reason for him to be moving like that. “Things are about to get real awkward if you keep moving like that.”

 

“I never expressed that I disliked you, Jesse,” Hanzo finally muttered. The first full sentence he uttered to him since picking him up in the alley way. His voice blended with the pouring rain, spreading more heat against his cold fingers. “I don't understand why you think otherwise.”

 

“You never talk to me. Normally you talk to someone if you want to be friends...” Or whatever was happening here. “I know you only come cuddle because it helps you sleep, right?”

 

“I do not do this to help me sleep. I do this to help you sleep.” Hanzo leaned his head back and they shared a brief glance through the stormy night. His eyes were deep, almost black in the rain. Jesse could see the stress that surrounded them, the deep bags beneath them. He didn't sleep well. None of them did.

 

“I never asked for help sleeping.”

 

“You scream in your sleep.” Jesse took in a heavy breath. Did he? He had terrible nightmares, it was understandable. “Genji does not hear it, he is a hard sleeper. But you wake me up every night.” Jesse blessed the darkened rain. The blush across his face was more embarrassing than the arousal in his pants. He never knew, but it made sense why Hanzo always seemed to be there after a nightmare. And only after a nightmare.

 

Once his hand was warm enough, Hanzo guided it back towards that place on his exposed hip. Much warmer against his bare skin. Jesse hesitated pressing into skin, instead coiling his arm around Hanzo's back. He wanted to pull him closer but... Hanzo had to notice by now. He didn't protest, and he started this. “Could have woken me up and went back to bed, sweet pea.”

 

Hanzo narrowed his eyes at the nickname and Jesse darted his tongue to the inside of his cheek. “I tried,” Hanzo grunted, leaning his head back to the position against Jesse's heart. More unsteady than it had been. Louder, aggressive. A little desperate. “I tried many times. You would wake, fall back asleep, and scream again. So one night, I laid with you... and you stopped screaming.”

 

“Yeah, because it confused the hell out of me,” Jesse laughed. His companion frowned, pulling his head back from Jesse's chest.

 

“I do not know what you dream about that makes you scream like that, but it is terrifying.” Hanzo slithered an arm through the sleeping bag, pressing a hand into Jesse's cheek. Not for warmth, but for touch. His fingers were cold, but Jesse did not mind. Darkness surrounded them and the rain puddled around their sleeping forms. Despite that, Jesse saw blue. Blue fluttering into the back of his mind, a dim light in the deepest part of his nightmares. Spreading into the red sky, filling his heart with a comfortable warmth. All a figment in his mind, but soothing none the less. He did not like to talk about his nightmares. He liked this better.

 

Hanzo inspected every contour of Jesse's face with his thumb. Across his jaw and over his cheekbone. Like the first day they met, huddled in that alley way. Genji was right. Why hadn't he realized it before? Jesse breathed out as he leaned his head down to bring them that much closer. A kiss would keep them warmer. “My dreams sure are sweeter once you join me, darlin'.”

 

As he went to steal Hanzo's lips, the man turned, positioning himself so that Jesse was spooning him instead. He almost kissed the back of his head, catching a mouthful of luscious black hair between his lips. “Don't press your luck,” Hanzo breathed and Jesse could hear the smile in his tone. He wiggled to get comfortable, unable to help the closeness between them. Jesse couldn't pull his hips away even if he wanted to.

 

“Don't press your hip into my groin,” Jesse hummed back.”

 

“Next time I will press my fist into your abdomen.” There was a silence between them, Hanzo's cold shoulder snapping a pang of hurt in Jesse's heart. Until the man started to laugh. Low at first, drowned out by the rain. Jesse rested his head against his shoulder, hearing the chuckle erupt from his throat. It seemed sleeping together wasn't all only for Jesse's benefit.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

_It began like all the others. The terrible sky of red, the sea of the dead before him. The tip of his gun bore into his temple, the energy to pull the trigger wasted. His head ached, a piercing stab behind his eye. Burning red anger drilling into his skull. Death would never bless him even after what he did. Life was cruel and his punishment was staring at the mess he made._

 

_A woman sat in the dirty by his feet. The woman from before, the one who screamed at him from a distance. Begging him to stop. Although closer, her features remained hidden. Blurred by intense red swirling beneath her hood. Long, dark hair pooled from her cloak, feeding into the ground._

 

_She left him. She left him and he did this._

 

_She traced her hand through the dirt, pushing sand over patches of blood where his mother once stood. Covering her imprints with a swatch of red earth. Wiping away the terrible things he had done. Erasing his mother. Erasing his mistakes. “Look what I've done,” he muttered behind trembling lips, staring down at her. Almost snarling. Lost, confused. He was only a child._

 

_Her fingers raked the earth, forever burying his mistake. He followed the trail of her nails, up her arm, to the horrifying jumble of blurred features. He couldn't remember her face even if he wanted to. He ran with her. She protected him, but not for long. She left him, along with the others. “That is not important.”_

 

_Jesse's entire body trembled. Not important. That's exactly what he was. That's why they left him._

 

“ _Please stop this.” She stood, outstretched her hand. Brought the gun from his head and leveled it at his side. He stared into her hood, nothing but bloody darkness. A void. He still clicked the gun towards the ground, his mind's instinct to end it all. “He needs you.”_

 

_His finger straightened. He dropped the gun, the metal bouncing off the red earth. It scattered near his feet and he stared. The swirling darkness began to change colors. “Who?”_

 

“ _He needs you.”_

 

_A brilliant flash of green exploded from her hood._

 

A scream, not his own. Jesse shot awake from the couch, his arms instinctively wrapping towards his companion. Desperate to cradle the warmth that kept him calm on so many nights. But he was alone, tangled in the extra blanket, bathed in glorious light. Hanzo was not there, instead across the room in the bed with his brother. But there was no sleep to be had.

 

A vivid green encircled the room and Hanzo knelt at the foot of the bed, his own brother's blade in hand. Genji pressed against the headboard, a tremendous dragon between the two of them. The long serpent enveloped the bed, a wall of thick muscle and scales around the younger brother. Claws dug into the mattress, fur down its back ruffled. Fire in its eyes, ready to snap Hanzo between its strong jaws in a moment should he make a move.

 

His dream. Genji needed him. Jesse hopped off the couch, throwing his arms forward to stop whatever chaos had erupted. But before he could come between them, his nose met the tip of the blade.

 

Jesse stopped, his vision trailing down the gleam of the sword to the holder. Hanzo glanced over his shoulder, his eyes blue. Not the comforting midnight that Jesse sought shelter in. A bright blue. Almost neon. Cold, like ice, threatening to invade and destroy every nerve in his body. “Do not intervene,” Hanzo growled from the pit of his stomach, voice low and trembling. “Unless you wish to join the men in your nightmares, you best keep to your business.” Jesse's body stiffened and he felt a pang of terror in his heart.

 

The room fell into an unsettling silence. Almost piercing, Jesse afraid to breathe should his action be mistaken. Genji did not look afraid, kneeling on the bed, surrounded by his great protector. He only looked sad. Looking to his brother, the one he trusted for so long. Wrapped in a fit of rage, ready to strike down anyone who came between him and his goal. Hanzo narrowed his vibrant eyes, arm steady as he drew the blade closer towards Jesse's throat.

 

And then his body sank and his shoulders lowered. The blue dispersed from his eyes, replaced by the deep brown that Jesse had grown to love. For a moment, Hanzo froze with the blade in his hand, tracing its path with his sight. When he realized how close it came to slicing open his friend's throat, he lowered it, turning to inspect the bed. He almost seemed surprised, as if he had not been standing there the entire time. Hanzo stepped back, letting the blade fall from his hand. He almost crashed into Jesse upon running out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him.

 

The dragon dashed from the bed, coursing through Jesse without harm. “Stop!” Genji screamed and the dragon froze before the door, body tense and big, flared in anger. “Cool it.” His dragon let out a loud snort of impatience and dwindled down to its normal size. A harmless weasel hissing at the door. It scurried back to Genji, swirling up his legs and torso until it came to rest on his shoulder.

 

Jesse did not listen. Genji composed himself enough that he was under control, but it was obvious that Hanzo was not. He could have been miles down the street by now with how fast he ran, and the cowboy was not willing to let him run alone. At least for this moment. “Jesse, give him time!” Genji yelled, but he was out the door in a heartbeat, running through the early morning darkness.

 

He could see him in the distance, a slow walk down the quiet sidewalk. Barefoot, sweat pants, in the freezing cold. But it did not hinder his step. Jesse winced as he rushed barefoot against the concrete, pushing back the cold as he ran in his boxers and a t-shirt. Trying to get enough speed to gain on the man who was so far ahead of him. “Hanzo!” he screamed as the other man approached an open and empty grocery store parking lot. Their surroundings were dark, only lit by shabby town lights and a little glow from the moon. “Hanzo, stop!”

 

Once they were feet apart, Hanzo whipped around, throwing his hands at his sides. “I am dangerous!” he screamed with a snarl from his throat, his voice carrying across the empty parking lot. Jesse put on the brakes, holding up his hands in defense. Hanzo had no weapon, but Jesse did not put it past him to break someone's neck with his bare hands. “You need to stay away from me!”

 

Jesse wrapped his arms over his chest, shivering in the cold of the empty parking lot. He stared at the shorter man fuming in front of him, letting him get out his anger. It was obvious that all his time spent quiet, he built it all in. Because he was not allowed to show emotion. Taught it to be weak. What kind of leader shower such fragile despair? “I ran from my family because I wanted to avoid this. I knew this would happen,” Hanzo continued to rant, the fire building in his soul with every loud, angry word. “But misfortune has followed me and I tried to kill Genji!”

 

Rage bubbled in his body as he stared Jesse in the eye, bottom lip quivering with words he could not form. Jesse only stared, not sure where to offer support. Before him stood an attempted murderer. He had not woken up in time, Genji could have been dead in the hotel room. But who was he talking. Many died at his hands. He had no room to judge. “It is my destiny to kill my brother, this what my clan wanted. They wanted him dead because he cannot follow the rules and only shamed us. This is what they raised me to do! I need to get away from you, and I have to get away from Genji!”

 

Hanzo brought his hands over his face and for a moment screamed, half muffled behind his fingers. Until finally he threw his hands at his sides and yelled towards the sky. Towards the moon that gave him little light in this empty parking lot. To the stars that guided their way as they traveled miles from his home. To the sky that clouded him in darkness each night. Screamed to anyone willing to listen to his frustrations.

 

Jesse waited. He would not stop him. He did not like his words, but Hanzo was not wrong. Being around his brother would only bring them both trouble in the end. His mind was out of his control with how quick he switched in the hotel. Had Genji not been more aware, had Jesse not woken up...

 

Hanzo's screaming ceased and his chest heaved as he turned away from his companion. His entire body trembled, the last of his rage bubbling out through clenched fists. “Please get my things,” he muttered as calm as possible, each word wavering with the vibrations of his body.

 

“Hanzo,” Jesse breathed, reaching out to place his hand on the man's shoulder.

 

Hanzo ducked away from him, going to look over his shoulder. He hesitated meeting eyes, keeping his head low, hair curtaining his face. “Please get my things. I will continue alone.”

 

Jesse turned, starting back towards the hotel with aching feet against the concrete. What else was he to do? Hanzo was a danger to Genji if they continued like this. There was no telling when this would happen again. Running from their family had not helped, he still snapped in the end. Unease settled in Jesse's stomach, looking over his shoulder at Hanzo standing in the lot.

 

There was nothing beside him. Only a man bathed in the flickering street lamp. Hands defeated at his side. Tired, fragile. Alone. There was no green glow by his side to keep him company. No dragon to protect him. He was alone, as Jesse had been for a while before they stumbled across him. He tore his attention away, entering the shabby hotel to find Genji sitting on the edge of the bed. He weighed his blade in his hand, staring at his reflection in its gleam.

 

“You alright?” Jesse questioned, picking his pants up off the floor. He shimmied into them, searching for his socks and boots.

 

“I knew this would happen one day,” Genji breathed, setting his blade down against the bed. He watched Jesse scour the hotel room, collecting his items and throwing the into his bag. And then he started to collect Hanzo's, which weren't as scattered. Piled into a corner, except his clothes, which he left discarded in the bathroom. “I thought running would actually work, but...”

 

“Hanzo wants to go alone.” Genji narrowed his eyes and stood from the bed.

 

“He what?” Genji reached out and put his hand in front of Hanzo's backpack, stopping his friend from packing. “No, he will not. He can't.”

 

“He's an adult, Genji, he... can't be around you.”

 

“He can't be by himself!” Genji grunted, throwing his hands on his hips. “He may be an adult and he may be mature, but he cannot be out there by himself. He is lost, Jesse,” the young brother continued, taking the backpack from the cowboy and throwing it on the bed. “He is afraid, he is not stable enough to take on the world alone. What will happen if he turns like that again? And he is alone?”

 

Jesse stared at him, vivid images from his dreams springing to mind. He was alone, and look what he had done. It was his fault and they left him. But they could no longer travel together, not with the risk of Hanzo murdering his brother. For a moment he wondered if his old group thought the same of him before deserting him. “You can't go with him, he will only have another opportunity to get at you.”

 

“Then you will have to go.”

 

Jesse paused his rampage through the hotel room, straightening his back. He didn't like the idea of any of them being alone. So he hadn't considered the option of letting Genji journey by himself. “He will not harm you,” Genji stated and those same words but from Hanzo's mouth bounced through his mind.

 

 _“I will not harm you.”_   Said in a cautious whisper with careful fingers wiping away cold sweat. And he did not harm him. Not once since the day they met. He had only been caring, even though he battled fear every day.

 

Genji turned around and packed Hanzo's bags, taking Jesse's silence as an agreement. Jesse stepped into his boots and tugged on his leather jacket, collecting his own items on his back. “Hanzo does not feel safe. It is why he cannot see his dragons. He needs someone by his side.”

 

His dream. She said he needed him. It was not Genji that needed his help. “He needs you, Jesse.”

 

Outside, Hanzo stood in the center of the grocery store parking lot. The last of his frustrations screamed out for the moment. His eyes red, filled with angry tears at the crime he almost committed. His brother, almost dead in his hands. He knew this day would come.

 

Hearing footsteps behind him, he breathed the last of his emotion in one sharp exhale. He turned to face Jesse as he wandered towards him, arms loaded with bags. But not only Hanzo's, his own. “Thank you,” Hanzo grunted as he shouldered his back pack, taking his sleeping bag under one arm, his bow in the other. The two stood feet apart, Hanzo bowing his head. Inspecting the dirty toes of his companion's cowboy boots. The torn concrete, faded parking lot lines. Anything to keep from looking him in the eye. “Please take care of my brother.”

 

“He'll be fine. I'm coming with you,” Jesse said with a side smirk, drawing his hat over his sleep touseled hair. Hanzo shook his head with narrowed, offended eyes.

 

“I told you I will continue alone.”

 

Jesse tipped his head, that same apprehensive smile. “No, you will continue without Genji. I'm coming with you.” He shrugged, a grip on one strap of his backpack, his other hand on his hip. “Genji will be fine on his own. You need someone with you.”

 

“Do not assume what I need,” Hanzo spat, straightening his body to build himself bigger than Jesse. His voice hoarse from screaming, in no mood to continue arguing. But he would if it meant getting his way. “I will go alone.”

 

Jesse shook his head, letting his shoulders drop in frustration. “Bullshit,” he grunted, done with Hanzo's defenses. They were all scared. They all had their worries. But Genji had protection. He had something watching over him. Hanzo had nothing, and he knew that. Without Genji, without Jesse, he was alone. “You can't see your dragons anymore because you don't feel safe. You can't trust anyone besides us. Who is going to look out for you?”

 

"I can look after myself. I am not a child.”

 

“Who's going to stop you next time you pull shit like that?” Jesse thrust his hand back towards the hotel. “Do you even remember who you were when that was happening? It was like looking at a whole other person. You want to wake up with someone dead at your feet?”

 

Jesse's voice reverberated around the lot and for a moment, everything turned to dust. His surroundings a violent shade of red, Hanzo standing before him with his lips parted. Eyes dark, empty. Jesse saw red. Red hot anger. If he left him, what would he do? What kind of things would he see in his sleep? Jesse wouldn't let it happen. “You don't love yourself, you don't think you're worth it, and now you've lost your dragons because of it!” Jesse yelled, pounding a fist against his chest. Perhaps these were not only Hanzo's thoughts, and he understood them all too well.

 

With his palm against his chest, Jesse could feel his heart pounding out of control. The world around him in complete disarray. The sky once a beautiful midnight now the color he despised the most. That red, that terrible red. His finger instinctively twitched although his gun was holstered beneath his jacket. How he wanted to pull the trigger to end this terrible nightmare. If they left Hanzo alone, this is what he would become. This is what he would do. “You'll lose everyone because of it,” he breathed, his words coming out in a harsh whisper. Suffocating on the deadly air around him. This is what Hanzo would become. Desperate, alone... unimportant.

 

A hand graced his face and his vision blurred. Jesse winced, opening his eyes to find them standing in the empty grocery store parking lot. Midnight darkness hanging above them, Hanzo's things on the ground. The man swallowed, staring at him with those deep, dark eyes. Still full of wrath and fear, redness tugging at the edges. Confusion, concern. Jesse breathed out, his chest vibrating against his palm. “You may come with me,” Hanzo muttered, his fingers falling from their place against Jesse's jaw.

 

Again, Jesse wondered how long he had been in his own head. He watched Hanzo collect his things, turning away to start their journey together. “Who else will hold you when you scream at night?” Hanzo then stated over his shoulder, almost out of ears reach when he picked up the pace. Jesse took a moment to collect his breath, shaking the visions from his brain. He thought this was for Hanzo's sake, but perhaps it was Jesse who needed him.

 

A few weeks passed and the two continued their travels. Somehow parallel to Genji, unbeknownst to the older brother. Jesse did not want the group too far apart should something happen and Genji need help. But he didn't want them close enough that Hanzo slipped into his old ways. Since his outburst in the hotel, he had grown more distant than ever. Happy for Jesse's company, but satisfied with keeping a safe distance between the two of them. That meant no more sharing bed space, even if Jesse had the worst of nightmares.

 

They were less reckless without the younger brother. Now Hanzo was in charge and Jesse did not argue, too tired to do so on most occasions. Most nights spent on rooftops and dark alley ways. No more hotels. Less stealing, less eating. Quiet, on the down low. The two didn't talk, only wandered together. Jesse hated it, but at least he knew Hanzo was alive.

 

The night plunged into darkness. Jesse sat before the pitiful fire they built on the top of an abandoned building. Looked to be a factory or warehouse of sorts, but they couldn't tell for what. Graffiti lined the inner walls, crumbled equipment, old boxes. Rats and spiders. No one would look for them there. Jesse minded the fire, kicking a stick in with the tip of his boot, staring towards the edge of the roof.

 

Hanzo sat along the edge, legs crossed, hands in his lap. Not meditating, only quiet. To himself. Jesse wished he would talk to him, not that he ever did much before. But he was far less approachable than he ever had been. He tried offering him food earlier, but he declined. He had been staring into the street for hours now. They were well past midnight, but neither of them tired.

 

Jesse stood from the fire and slid his pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Only a few left this time. Enough to get him through tomorrow night assuming the day went easy enough. When he wasn't talking, he was smoking to keep his mouth busy. To keep his mind busy. He fished out a cigarette, lighting the end with a cheap lighter from the gas station. He came to rest a few feet from Hanzo on the edge of the building.

 

The silence wasn't always Hanzo's fault. Jesse never knew what to say. Without Genji to spark their conversation, he wasn't sure how to approach him. He knew next to nothing about him aside that they were running from their past. He wanted to ask him more about what happened in the hotel. Why he snapped like that and lunged after his brother. How they trained him for that purpose. He knew if he asked, Hanzo would not tell as everything had been terrible secrets with him up to this point.

 

Then again, Jesse never told anyone anything of his past. The brothers knew less of him than he did of their past. Best not to know of all the bodies racked on his record. How many bullets he shot between eyes. The way his mother looked at him in her last dying breath, stumbling into the red earth at his feet. His finger twitched against the cigarette, mimicking the motion of a trigger.

 

Hanzo cleared his throat, outstretching his hand. He signaled for the cigarette, beckoning it towards him with two fingers. Jesse paused mid drag, seeing that Hanzo did not even glance in his direction. He puffed out smoke and handed it over to his companion. The older brother ashed what the cowboy left and brought the cigarette to his lips. His lips parted, a cloud of smoke wrapping around him with a long sigh. “Thought you didn't like my habit,” Jesse muttered with a smile and Hanzo finally looked towards him.

 

Tired, darkness under his piercing eyes. Lips parted, giving way to his unsteady breath. He flicked the ash towards the street, turning his attention to the way it fluttered out of view. “What do you dream about that makes you scream?” Hanzo murmured, reaching out to return the cigarette.

 

“ _Unless you wish to join the men in your nightmares, you best keep to your business.”_ By those words, Jesse assumed some part of Hanzo already knew.

 

Jesse took the cigarette and hesitated bringing it to his mouth. He never told anyone of his dreams. It was bad enough suffering through them on a nightly basis, but to retell them to someone who did not live in his mind. Seeing as Hanzo comforted him without a clue after each one, Jesse only owed it to him to let him know.

 

“Everything's red,” he grunted, finally bringing the cigarette to his lips. He inhaled, exhaled. Breathing a few inhibitions out through his nose. “There's bodies everywhere and I'm... standing there with my gun.”

 

Jesse's words began to flood out his mouth like blood from his mother's in his dreams. His mother, standing there. Arms outstretched. Waiting on his embrace. He clicks the gun over and over. But death would never come for him. Even if he deserved it, death would never come. It was his fault.

 

“Is it a memory that you are reliving?” Hanzo questioned, breaking him from his mind. Jesse inhaled and glanced towards him, watching his inquisitive eyes. The way they stared back, studying every tired feature on his face. They were very much alike even with so much unspoken.

 

Jesse swallowed. Guilty. “Maybe. It might be. I don't remember. I know I've killed people.” The pain pounded behind his eyes and he remembered the terrible clack of each bullet firing from his gun. He didn't even look to aim. He knew his bullets would find their home into the brain of everyone who wronged him. And even those who didn't. His mother. It was his fault. He winced, bringing his hand to his forehead as he passed the cigarette back. “I remember opening my eyes and...”

 

Hanzo took another puff of the cigarette, inspecting it for a moment as he exhaled. Jesse wondered if it was a habit he had but did not tell. Or if he only did it a few times to calm his nerves. Or if this was the first time and he couldn't sit in silence any longer. “Did they take you as well?” Hanzo hummed with the mouth of the cigarette against his lips. He held it there for a moment, about to take another selfish drag before realizing that it was his turn to pass it back. “Take advantage of your abilities.”

 

“Did who take me?” Jesse questioned, having to scoot himself a little closer to take the cigarette back. Only a few more drags before that one was through. But there were a couple more in the pack to help them along this conversation.

 

“I am unsure. I don't remember well enough,” Hanzo muttered, his hands gripping the edge of the rooftop. He leaned forward a bit to stare down into the street, his long hair tumbling over his shoulder. They had not showered in a couple days, yet somehow, he still looked radiant. Meanwhile, Jesse felt like a fresh dumpster and kept his shaggy locks under his hat. “There was an organization that came to my home that noticed my skills. How my brother and I could use our dragons.”

 

Hanzo explained how they conversed with his elders, who in turn trained him to become a strong leader. Obedient, powerful. Dangerous. They tried to train Genji, but his younger brother saw through it. And at one point, Hanzo did, too, but his brain was not strong enough to combat them. They morphed his mind, molded it into the warrior they wanted. He lost sight of his dragons, and therefor lost sight of himself. “And now...” Hanzo began with the last bit of cigarette between his fingers. He stared across the way at the other buildings, then up to the sky, losing the end of his sentence in the darkness.

 

Jesse stared at him, tracing his body with his warm honey eyes. The way he looked up in wonder at the stars that speckled the sky. How the little bit of fire at the end of the cigarette lit up his face. The way he looked taking a breath, biting his lip after he blew smoke into the wind. Hanzo liked him, or so Genji said. Or it was the other way around and it was Genji's intention to get him to say something. Jesse kept quiet, drawing his attention away towards the sky as well.

 

“Thank you for following,” Hanzo interrupted their silence. “I did not like the things you said, but you are not wrong.” Jesse wondered which part of it he did not like. The part where he requested to come along, or the part where he started to lose himself. When he projected his own insecurities on Hanzo under the guise that they held that in common. “Genji will be fine on his own. But I...” He inspected the last bit of cigarette at the tip of his fingers, his tongue prodding the inside of his mouth. “I do not trust myself alone. Without my dragons to protect me, who knows what I would have done. So thank you, Jesse.”

 

“It ain't no trouble,” Jesse smiled, his voice warm as he outstretched his hand for the last bit of cigarette. He knew there was more to be had, but it seemed as though this conversation was wrapping up. With a bit off their chest, the two of them could sleep a little sounder this evening. Maybe even next to one another tonight. He watched Hanzo hesitate, only offering his hand a little bit, as if scared by the gap between them. They were a good enough distance away that a fumble could result in a burn or dropping the cigarette.

 

Hanzo shifted his weight to bring himself a little closer, putting them only inches apart. He handed over the cigarette, watching Jesse take it between his fingers. Jesse sighed as it lingered before his face, almost hesitating. Once finished, along with it would this conversation. It meant sleep, or it meant that Hanzo would go back to how he was. Quiet and distant. He stared at the fading tip of the cigarette. At least they had made some step in a better direction.

 

As he brought it to his lips, something else replaced the cigarette.

 

Hanzo flicked Jesse's hand away from his face, drawing his lips against him instead. Jesse yelped, bracing himself against the edge of the rooftop, weighing back into the kiss. At first they were clumsy, Jesse reminded of his first kiss as a teenager. Back when he had zero idea of what he was doing. Too much tongue and missed lips.

 

But then he got a grip on the edge of the roof with one hand, his other taking Hanzo's cheek into his palm. Slow, sweet, a kiss that could last an eternity. Jesse chased the taste of the cigarette on his companion's tongue. Not enough nicotine in the world to please the craving billowing in the pit of his stomach. A sensation he didn't realize he wanted, yet one he had been waiting on forever. Hanzo removed Jesse's hat, dragging his fingers through the cowboy's unkempt hair. Pulling him that much closer, sealing whatever gap came between them.

 

And then a sensation he had not planned for. A shock, different from his normal reaction to any of Hanzo's movement. That familiar warmth, the pop of blue in the back of his mind. Jesse opened his eyes, finding that Hanzo was backing away from the kiss, and he chased him with his lips. But the man grew too far, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. Hanzo swallowed and released his grip on his partner's hair. Standing, he fled from the edge of the roof as quick as he did every morning. Without a word, without an excuse. As he did everything.

 

Jesse watched him go, his entire body tingling with static energy. He stared at the remnants of the cigarette between his fingers and crushed it into the concrete. Watching over his shoulder, he spotted Hanzo snaking into his sleeping bag. Lounging in front of the fire, bundling himself up without so much of a goodnight. As he figured, once that cigarette ended, so did their conversation. And now Jesse hungered for more than what remained in the pack. There would be no sleep tonight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I got that second chapter done kind of fast. Please don't expect that to happen too often, I've just been sick and sitting around my house with nothing else to do. With that being said, though I'm going to get right to work on the next chapter to try to get as much done before the anniversary event begins (because I will literally do nothing else but play that lmao)
> 
> As for the smut part, that's coming in the next chapter! So fear not... the porn with plot... will eventually have porn. lmao


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we begin the porn part of this porn with plot. It's only minor in this chapter, as I still need to get through some story-ish stuff. Sorry this took me a bit longer to finish than the others. That anniversary event started and I got distracted. Thanks everyone for reading and dropping a comment or kudo! It super means a lot to me!

As he knew he would, Jesse laid awake the entire night on the opposite end of the fire. Squirming in his sleeping bag, counting stars to forget the taste of Hanzo's lips. But it was no use. The more he tried to ignore it, the more restless he became. And not having Hanzo in his arms ticked him off more than all of it.

 

“You look like shit,” Genji smirked, peering down the alley way they met in. He pulled out a microchip loaded with credit card info and their new identities for the evening. Jesse never asked where he got them or who he had connections to. But if it meant a chance for a warm bed out of the rain, he didn't complain. Rain dripped around them and Jesse struggled to keep his cigarette lit in the chilly wind. “Not sleeping well?”

 

“Course not.” When his cigarette burned out for the third time, he cursed and threw it into a puddle. Night still fell upon them and Hanzo still slept at the abandoned factory. They had to move inside once the sudden downpour began hours before. When sleep escaped him, Jesse crept out to meet with Genji, as he did every so often to confirm he was safe.

 

Jesse handed over his phone, watching Genji pop the chip into place. He dialed in numbers, messed with some settings, and removed the chip before handing it back over. “There's your credit card and new identity. You check into the hotel, let Hanzo show up a little later,” Genji sighed. He stared at the ground after his brother's name, tapping the tip of his shoe into a puddle. The little green glow pulsed from under his jacket before disappearing. Like a fading heartbeat or dreary breath. Not a good day for his dragon.

 

“How come?”

 

“Because your name is Jimmy Wade today. You're twenty six, a car salesman. You scam people out of their money,” Genji rambled, his arms crossed over his chest. His voice flat, somewhat annoyed. “You steal from your company and blow the extra funds on mediocre strippers. At least according to your bank account.” Jesse looked down at his phone with a cocked eyebrow. Unsure if this was a story his friend made up. Or also the very valid reason he jacked the credit card from this specific person. He was a Robin Hood of sorts when he stole information. “Hanzo doesn't look like a Jimmy. So you check in, he comes later.”

 

“Gotcha,” Jesse shrugged.

 

“How is he doing?” Genji's voice fell softer and he stared at his blurred reflection in the puddle at his feet. His green sneakers soaked in the rainwater. “I've tried texting him since the incident, but he won't respond.”

 

Jesse hesitated. Up until last night, things had been about the same. Hanzo still quiet, reluctant to speak with Jesse. To himself, off to the side. Jesse thought he would try reaching out to his brother. But it seemed Genji also received the same silent treatment. Happy to have Jesse's company, content with keeping to himself. “About the same,” he grunted, sliding his phone into his back pocket. He needed to head back to the warehouse soon. Hanzo did not know the two met up like this. “Quiet. Doesn't say much.”

 

Genji frowned, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He shook off his sneaker, his wet shoelaces flicking against his leg. “Doesn't surprise me. He's never good at communicating with those he cares about. Not since he changed, at least.”

 

Cared about. Warmth spread in Jesse's chest. “He did open up to me a little last night,” the cowboy admitted. He adverted his attention down the alley way. Towards the direction of the factory where Hanzo slept. Someone needed to get rest between the two of them. “Talked about some organization. Said he didn't remember details, but they talked with your elders, and then he started training.”

 

Tilting his head, Genji narrowed his sharp eyes. For a moment he looked confused, as if this were new information to him. He opened his mouth, ready to speak, but swallowed the words with the shake of his head. “Speaking of, someone's following me.” Genji stepped closer to whisper his words. With it being so early in the morning, darkness encased them. Unless someone traveled all the way down the alley, they were safe from eyesight. “Not sure who they are, but I swear I keep seeing the same faces popping up during my travels. Best be on the lookout.”

 

“You remember what they looked like?”

 

“Two men. A man and a woman? I can't tell. Might be three people. One's always wearing a hood and I can't get a good look.” Jesse swallowed. The hooded woman in his dream. Her face tangled in red darkness. Covering his mistakes with a pile of sand. He knew her, but couldn't remember her face if he wanted to. He winced for a moment and shook the vision from his brain. “If I see them again, I'll try to get a picture. But I noticed them after we all split.”

 

“I haven't seen anyone, but Hanzo keeps us moving when no one else is.” Hanzo was excellent at keeping them hidden. Jesse hadn't seen much of other people for a couple weeks. He never stepped foot in a shop, hadn't entered a hotel. He only saw people at a distance, from rooftops and through foggy windows. “But I'll watch out.” Genji nodded, back stepping through the dirty puddle, ready to make way out the alley. But before he could get too far, Jesse grabbed him by the jacket sleeve. “You doin' alright?”

 

“Yeah, I'm good.” Genji smiled towards the ground and patted the chest of his thick coat. “I have back up, remember. It gets lonely without you both, but... we'll run together again.” He flicked his hand into a peace sign and grinned as he backed into the metal fence to another alley. “Thanks for staying with my brother. You two are good for each other.” With that, he grabbed onto the metal links of the fence and hopped over, disappearing from view.

 

Jesse watched him go, bringing a hand over his mouth and mimicking the motion of a cigarette. Good for each other. Hanzo was the only good he had going for him recently.

 

Arriving back at the warehouse, he ducked through broken machines and musty boxes. He considered digging through for anything useful, but feared worse than good luck. As he approached the small office that kept them dry, he saw Hanzo in the doorway packing their things. Well before day break, long before any alarm he set. “Morning, sunshine.” Jesse sensed trouble from the knowing glance Hanzo shot over his shoulder.

 

“How is my brother?” Hanzo questioned, rolling his sleeping bag up and securing the straps. Jesse's things were already collected in a pile by the door, packed away in his bag.

 

“Your brother?” Jesse played dumb, caught. Not that seeing Genji was a problem. But it did let Hanzo know they were close enough for risk. “I, uh...” He swallowed when Hanzo glared, the man standing up straight with all his items collected. “He's alright. Got us a ticket to a hotel this evening.”

 

Hanzo nodded, staring up to the patchy holes in the ceiling where rain dribbled in. His unwashed hair pulled back into a messy bun at the base of his neck, keeping it out of his face. Jesse stared, admiring scattered light that fell over his sharp features. Only a year older than him, but aged beyond his years. He didn't ask to be like this. Stress pulled at the corners of his eyes, jaw tense. Jesse watched the weight of his past burden his body, dwell in his chest as he sighed. Moonlight poured from the ceiling. Like the day they met, Hanzo looked like some kind of angel. One worn out, distressed angel. “Anything new?” Hanzo murmured, heartache strung in his words. Being without his brother hurt.

 

“He thinks someone's following him. Seeing the same faces a couple days in a row.” Hanzo narrowed his eyes and nodded his head towards the pile of stuff to his right. Jesse immediately swept it into his arms. The second he collected his things, Hanzo scurried off. Many feet ahead of him towards the exit of the factory. Intent on getting out of this town before the rest of its residents woke up.

 

“Then we will not be staying in a hotel,” he grunted and Jesse was not as fond of his companion speaking anymore. Raining on his parade like the terrible weather.

 

“Wait, what? We've been sleeping in nasty alley ways and rooftops for weeks. I need a proper shower. I'm not washing in a gas station bathroom again,” Jesse muttered with the loudest sigh he could muster. His sentence trailed with a whine that echoed through the factory. When his voice carried, Hanzo turned towards him, dark eyes piercing. “You have to feel disgusting. Why else haven't you slept next to me?”

 

Hanzo opened his mouth to argue, building up his shoulders before he looked away. Even through darkness, Jesse read the flash of heat on the other man's cheekbones. “If someone is following Genji, chances are they are following me. I do not feel safe in a hotel.”

 

“I need a shower, Hanzo.”

 

“Being in a hotel puts us at risk of someone knowing where we are.”

 

“No, it lets someone know where Jimmy Wade is. And that he sells cars and pays for strippers.” Hanzo leaned in, confusion glossing his face. “When has anyone caught us before? Hot shower, comfortable bed. We're sleeping in a hotel tonight.” Jesse said it matter of fact, pointing his finger in his companion's face. “End of story.”

 

Hanzo huffed, puffing his chest to stand tall, looking his travel partner in the eye. He bit his lip, his eyes stating that he had much to say. But then that he also weighed the options in his head. His teeth lingered on his bottom lip and for a moment, Jesse smirked. Without Genji, they could share the bed and shower without embarrassment. If Hanzo were thinking the same thing, that was. Not that Jesse ever knew what he was thinking. Hanzo cocked an eyebrow when he caught Jesse staring at his lips and turned his head. “Fine. But I pick the hotel.” Hanzo swerved on his heel, darting out the main doorway. Jesse followed with that same satisfied smile.

 

And boy, did he pick the place.

 

Jesse stepped into the lavish suite, dropping a pleased sigh with his backpack on the floor. A large hotel room, equipped with a small kitchen and roomy bathroom. The king sized bed in a separate room from the main one. Unnecessary, yes, but a good find on the outskirts of the next town over. Hanzo mentioned they were in wine country. If they traveled some miles down, there were plenty of wineries. But they would not visit those. Crashing in a richer hotel was enough.

 

“This is more what you're used to, huh?” Jesse smiled, kicking off his boots in the middle of the living room. Hanzo shuffled them out of the walk way and set his things near the table. He scoured the television guide and room service menu, grabbing his wallet from his bag. “Mr. Wade will have to skip on the strippers tonight to afford this gig.”

 

“I will be back,” Hanzo muttered, snatching the extra key card from his companion's coat pocket. Before Jesse could even inquire, the man was out the door, leaving him in the quiet comfort of their room. Most likely off to grab food, as he always did. The closest store was a good walk away, so Jesse was due for some alone time.

 

He stood in the center of the room, shedding his jacket and draping it over a nearby chair. What to do first. He stretched his body, almost content to lay on the couch and nap. They wandered through the cold rain for hours until they were enough away from the previous city. Avoiding whoever followed. If anyone even followed them. He hadn't noticed anyone out of the ordinary. But as he mentioned to Genji, Hanzo kept them far from other people. Traveling on side roads, through trees, behind buildings. Jesse hadn't heard from Genji since that morning.

 

The man unbuttoned his shirt and slid out of that as well, deciding it was best to hop into the shower he waited weeks for. And a nice shower, at that. He peeked into the bathroom. A massive counter top with the essentials. Complimentary shampoo, conditioner, and bar soap. Hair dryer, lotion, hand towels. The tub was big enough that he could stretch out and soak in the bath if he wanted. Big enough to share.

 

Looking past the bathroom, he peered into the adjoining room where his bed awaited. There was a full dresser with a huge television on top. King size bed loaded with giant puffy pillows and the comfiest blanket he had seen in days. He never had a home that compared to this. Any room he ever had was a small military style bunker. Or a jail cell. Although his body was dirty and rain soaked, he hopped into it with ease, stretching out his tired limbs. Didn't even bother to turn on the lights. A shower sounded nice. But passing out in something other than a sleeping bag on concrete sounded better.

 

It was the first time he slept in a bed in months. Since before he met Genji and Hanzo. He had offered the bed to the two each time they slept in a hotel. Opting for the couch, as that seemed reasonable for the person meant to sleep alone. Not that he slept alone. Jesse exhaled, drifting to all the times Hanzo joined him. His body, although shorter, sturdy against him. Snaking strong arms around his torso, thighs and feet tangled. And that thing he did with his hips. Apologizing in his sleep for getting comfortable. Or so he said. All the times Jesse bit his tongue and tried his hardest not to get aroused. There was no way someone moved that much in their sleep and could still stay on the slender conforms of the couch.

 

He sighed, bringing one arm over his face, his other hand on his zipper. Hanzo had a long walk to the next grocery store, and Jesse had a lot of free time. It had been a while. He undid his pants with one hand, pushing them down his hips to give himself enough access. At first, he palmed at his crotch, over his boxers to the thought of Hanzo grinding into him. That innocent, tired way he did when he was trying to find the right position to share the couch. At first facing one another, then turning so that his ass so happened to rest against his crotch. Oh, and then he needed to turn. And dig his hip in as he went before coming to rest facing him again in the same position they started in. Jesse breathed through his nose, his firmness tightening his boxers.

 

It had been much too long. He couldn't even remember the last time he got the opportunity to please himself. Sometimes in the shower when they stopped at a hotel, but not enough. At least after he had Hanzo toying with him. Once the tension became too much, he slid down the elastic of his boxers and took his erection in his hand. Slow movement at first, reveling in the peaceful quiet of the fancy hotel room. The only sound the pattering rain and the rumble of the air conditioning unit. What he would do to add another heartbeat to the sensation. Hanzo's ragged breath as he pounded into him, illicit pleas for more. And the vibration... the vibration?

 

Jesse almost screamed when he realized his phone was vibrating in his back pocket. Message after message flooded in until he could no longer ignore it. He threw his hand down from his face to the bed with an angered grunt, fishing his phone out his back pocket. Before he could even read the slew of messages, Genji was calling him. “Yeah?” he growled into the phone, struggling with his shoulder to keep it against his ear. He considered packing himself back into his pants, but he hoped this call would end fast.

 

“You alright? Is something wrong?” Genji muttered from the other end at the abrupt response.

 

Jesse squirmed against the best to get himself comfortable with his junk hanging out in the open. Trying to keep his mind on Hanzo and not the brother on the other end of the phone. “Fine. What's up?”

 

“I sent you like eighteen pictures. Did you even look at them? What's going on? You sound out of breath.” Jesse pulled the phone from his ear. He ignored Genji's continued banter for attention, flipping through blurry images. People lost in crowds, but the same people over and over. The pictures were poor quality, through foggy windows and nasty weather. The oncoming darkness didn't help. Shot in some low lit club, bodies pressed together and clouds of cigarette smoke. But through each one, he could see a set of at least one or two similar faces. Only somewhat familiar. A hooded figure. Another face he remembered receiving orders from. “What are you doing?”

 

“I'm relaxing, Genji,” Jesse finally grunted, putting the phone back to his ear. He had given up packing himself into his pants, ready to end this call and dwell on those pictures later.

 

“Or... should I ask, who are you doing?”

 

Jesse pressed his free hand over his face and sighed into it. He could feel his arousal dwindling away, and he only had so much time by himself before Hanzo returned. Not willing to let the feeling go, he reached down to continue his strokes. Slow, lengthy to keep himself going, not to serve as a distraction. He swallowed down his breath. Who he would _love_ to be doing. Silence stretched between them and Jesse thought he may have muted his friend. But then Genji snorted through a low laugh, and before he could even get words out, Jesse barked, “We're at a hotel. Your brother is out. What are the pictures?”

 

Once finished with his small fit of laughter, Genji straightened up. “Those are the people I keep seeing. The pictures are bad, but you get the idea. Anyone you've seen before?”

 

“I couldn't see anything. They're all blurry.” He wasn't sure if they were blurry because of the quality. Or because he glossed over them so quick in his heated distress. He would have time to look at them later when Hanzo returned. He would not have time to jack off if Genji kept stalling like this. “Are you near them now?”

 

“Nope. I was in a crowd and they seemed to be searching for someone. But when they couldn't find that someone, they left. But I've seen them before. I know they're the people I've seen.” Jesse hesitated answering, realizing he hadn't even heard him. Too busy in his own brain, the idea of Hanzo leaning over him in his bed. Mouth pressed against the head of his cock. Jesse grabbing his thick dark locks in fingers and guiding him around his hardened shaft. He sucked in a breath through his teeth as he gripped himself harder. “Ok, well, you seem distracted so we should talk about this later. Hold the phone to my brother's ear so I can tell him hello.”

 

Jesse huffed through his nose, his eyes shut tight. “Hanzo isn't-”

 

“Jesse?” His voice cut through the quiet hotel room like a dagger.

 

“Jesus Christ!” the cowboy howled, dropping his phone off the side of the bed and turning on his side to face the window. Over his shoulder, he saw Hanzo standing in the open bedroom doorway searching for the lights. As he clicked them on, Jesse crammed himself back into his jeans, laying on his stomach. From the floor, he could hear Genji's roaring laugh before the call finally ended. “How long have you been there?”

 

“A few seconds. Did I wake you?” Hanzo questioned with one of the bags huddled against his chest. The rest were on the main table in the living room. Jesse shook his head, almost embarrassed to look his companion in the eye. “Were you having another nightmare?” Quite the opposite. Jesse tried to force back the images now all springing to mind. How Hanzo would look between his legs, mouth open, begging for him. Taking him completely in his throat, face dribbling with warm wetness. Jesse squinted his eyes, pressing his face down into the pillow. Wasn't helping his erection digging into the bed. He needed to evacuate this situation immediately because now it was becoming painful. Pushing his palms into the bed, he darted up and swept past in an instant. His shoulder crashed into Hanzo and the man spilled the grocery bag on the floor. “Jesse?”

 

“I need to shower,” he yelped as he sprang into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and pressing his back into it. He could hear Hanzo gathering his dropped items on the other side, mumbling to himself. Cold shower to get all the tingles out? Or warm shower to work them out himself? Now that he was in peace in the bathroom, it was unlikely there would be an interruption. He shed himself of his clothes, throwing them on the floor before turning on the water with soap in hand. Steam billowed from the shower and he slipped inside to coat his body. The water felt good against his skin, but not as good as this orgasm would feel if he ever got around to it.

 

The grime and dirt of their travels swirled down the drain, Jesse making good use of his alone time in the shower. Interrupted once, he needed this moment before he laid down to sleep. Because the moment he slept, Hanzo would be right there, cuddling into his body. Brushing his hips into his groin. He had a knack for pushing buttons even if he said nothing.

 

Jesse remember the roof top. How Hanzo's lips tasted moments after his last drag on that cigarette. More addictive than the nicotine he craved daily. Jesse wondered what he tasted like without the tinge of smoke, what his lips felt like on other places. He reached down through the stream of steaming water. His fingers wrapped around his erect cock, still begging from his earlier touch in bed. It had been too long and he needed release. All this over the pants sleep grinding that Hanzo gave him damn near every night wasn't enough.

 

His strokes were slow at first, from tip to base, hand slick under the running water. But the more he thought about the kiss, a very simple kiss, his movement quickened. The shock that zapped his body, the dreamy look Hanzo gave him before parting. The lost drag of a cigarette crushed into the rooftop. No longer enough to soothe any craving his tired body desired. He wanted more, but didn't know how to ask. Hanzo was such a mystery. A delightful, attractive mystery who chased away his nightmares and made sleep sweeter.

 

And if he asked, would Hanzo even reciprocate. It seemed he was more interested in giving orders than taking them. Most of Jesse's suggestions, even about simple things, went to the wayside. But Hanzo just did, and Jesse accepted that. Crawled into his sleeping space, tangled his arms around him. And Jesse took him in. Kissed him, brushed his face. And Jesse let him. He wondered what Hanzo would do if Jesse were the first to make moves like that. Or if he was doing it only because Jesse hadn't yet. Hanzo was a terrifying mystery, and Jesse was content being under his thumb. Even if he craved Hanzo underneath him instead.

 

The bathroom door clicked open, and then clicked back shut. Jesse paused his movement, hitching his breath in his throat. An accident? The shower curtains were so thick he couldn't tell if he were still alone, so he peered around them. Standing before the mirror was Hanzo, wiping away steam with the side of his hand. Jesse's entire body tensed at the interruption and he continued to stare at his companion. The man standing in nothing but his sweat pants, hair bunched towards the top of his head. Loose strands dangling against his strong shoulders. His piercing eyes inspecting his own tired body in the steamy reflection. “Can I help you?” Jesse questioned over the pattering of running water, ready to beat his head into the wall.

 

Hanzo did not look his way, wiping away the steam on the mirror until he could see his entire reflection. He looked stressed, his shoulders tense as he leaned his weight into the counter top. “There is someone outside of the hotel room,” he stated, biting down on his lower lip for a moment. He looked through the mirror to grace Jesse's line of sight before staring back at himself. Anxiety plagued his features. But it didn't seem in regards to the potential followers outside their hotel room. Something else wrought his mind. “I saw shadows pass by the windows. So I turned out the lights and came in here.”

 

“Of course you did,” Jesse thought with his erection still in hand. Movement paused, he allowed the hot water to course down his back. Giving up seemed like the best option as no one was going to let him masturbate in peace. Go figure. Silence bounced between the two and Jesse waited on Hanzo's move. He wasn't getting out of this shower until the man was gone as his towel was out of reach. His nasty, travel coated clothes on the floor. Full hard on in hand. Getting out of this bathroom unnoticed wasn't an option. But it was clear that Hanzo had no intention of leaving for a bit. Trying to clear the air, Jesse joked, “You cold join me if you needed something to do.” Or _someone_.

 

Hanzo side eyed him through the mirror without so much of a cocked eyebrow and Jesse lowered his head. He gave off a kidding chuckle, shutting the shower curtain, leaning back into the wall. Time for a cold shower to dissolve his frustrations. But before, it was best to actually clean up. He tried to loosen his body in the last of the warmth, fumbling with the slick wrapper of the hotel bar soap. He cursed under his breath, ripping the wrapper to shreds, watching the pieces fall at his feet. He scrubbed himself down and listened for the bathroom door to open again. But he couldn't hear anything of use over the annoyed pounding in his brain and the running water.

 

Reaching behind him for the faucet, Jesse braced himself for the stream of cold water. No more illicit thoughts, no more jerk session. He would get this out of the way one day. He hoped tonight wasn't one of those ones where Hanzo decided he needed a cuddle buddy. Because Jesse was sure he wouldn't keep anything under control. And it was getting to the point where screaming to hold it back was the only solution.

 

The curtain shuffled and Jesse almost slipped in the current as Hanzo slid his way into the shower. Jesse's first instinct was to jump back, second to admire the view. Hanzo nudged him out of the way of the running water, sighing when the steaming current touched his skin. “What are you doing?” Jesse muttered, turning his body in a way to hide his erection, although Hanzo was not looking.

 

Hanzo coursed his fingers through his now wet hair to distribute the water. It dribbled down his strong back and over his rear, Jesse following the trail of water with hungry eyes. The way it ran down muscled curves and dripped onto his sturdy ass. He choked back a moan at the thought of driving himself deep into that perfect ass. “You said I could join you.” Hanzo glanced over his shoulder, looking his companion up once before locking eyes. He snatched the bar of soap from his hand and turned back away. “Did you not mean it?”

 

Jesse stared at him with his hands hesitant at his side, unsure if he should hop out of the shower or hop onto him. Hanzo returned to cleaning himself, relieving his body of the stress of their travels. They were adults. They could handle a shower together. Hanzo took everything straight, that was all. It was a shower.

 

But he was the one who kissed him first. He initiated this. Climbing onto the couch with him, kissing him on the rooftop. He was quiet, but never subtle. This was another step of his master plan.

 

Jesse brushed his hand along Hanzo's shoulder, dragging away strands of wet hair. He allowed himself closer, pressing his lips into the other man's neck. Spreading his lips along his nape, trailing his nails down the man's spine. As if waiting for his touch, Hanzo immediately reciprocated, weighing back into him. The two stumbled together into the shower wall.

 

Hanzo braced his hands against the tile as Jesse grabbed him by the hips, thrusting his body against him. His kisses turned to nibbles, leaving heated marks against his exposed shoulder. His teeth blended into Hanzo's tattoo and the man groaned through the stream of water. His body begged for closeness, for support. Jesse could hear his name in a shuddered breath and his entire body buckled into his now lover.

 

Careful through the slippery tub, Hanzo turned so that they faced one another. He wrapped his arms around the rugged cowboy, sealing the gap between their bodies. Firm stomach pressed against wet skin, Jesse unable to hide any part of his erection now. Their lips crashed, and Hanzo searched his mouth like had waited for this moment forever. More hungry than the kiss on the rooftop the night before, needy and desperate for attention. Jesse swore he heard him whisper each time they parted, but swallowed his words with his own greedy lips. Bodies grinding, his own hands searching every curve and solid muscle of the archer's body.

 

Jesse closed his eyes, letting his hands and lips wander. His hands slid behind his lover, at first coursing over his back, but then finding a solid place on his ass. Pulling him from the shower wall, drawing away, Hanzo taking his bottom lip between his teeth. The archer coursed a hand through Jesse's hair. Gripping tight to keep their faces in line before letting soft fingers fall against his face. The way he did when calming him. After standing in that grocery store parking lot, taking him out of his terrible visions. Drawings the lines of his jaw, tracing the edges of his lips with his fingertips. He stared at him with such sensual intensity that Jesse almost came right then. Even through amorous grinding, something tender in Hanzo's touch humbled him.

 

They pressed their foreheads together, Hanzo staring at him like he had something to say. Words gathering on the tip of his tongue, mouth open, only letting out heated breath. Jesse waited, their movement slowing and he saw it. The blue, the beautiful comforting blue that soothed him from his nightmares. Only a flash in the back of his mind, but a feeling that told him everything was okay. He kissed the side of Hanzo's open lips, pressing him back into the wall so they water coursed down his own back. His kisses traveled in a hungry trail to Hanzo's neck, nursing the bruised spot along his tattoo. Hanzo rolled his head to the side, a low breathy moan dripping from his lips at teeth against skin.

 

Through the water, Jesse shivered, electricity coursing through his body. A zap like that on the rooftop that prickled his skin from head to toe. To hear this man moan like that, feel him grow harder against his body. He had waited months for this and didn't even realize. With a low laugh that bubbled from the pit of his stomach, Jesse opened his eyes to catch a glimpse of his lover's face. To see what he looked like when making noises like that.

 

When he opened his eyes, he froze, coming to find that the blue was no longer a vision in the back of his mind. A swirl of color circled them, reflecting against the wall like stained glass. His entire body shivered with protective calmness. Jesse tightened his fingers around his lover as he admired the beautiful hue. It took no shape, only light. Flowing from the intricate dragon tattoo sewn into the other man's arm. “Hanzo,” Jesse mumbled, leaning his body away only far enough to take in the entire sight. Much like the neon green that protected Genji all the time. Perhaps this was...

 

Hanzo breathed out, fluttering open his eyes, coming to after a series of lustful breaths. At first, he looked as though he had woken from a dream, unaware of the color encompassing them. But when he opened his eyes all the way, the color zipped from around them. They lingered in the overhead light of the shower. “What is wrong?” Hanzo breathed, his hand immediately going back to Jesse's face. The other grabbing hair. Keeping them steady in the hot water. “Why did you stop?”

 

“Did you see it?” Jesse's attention fled all over the shower to capture the last second of blue warmth. But it was gone, sucked back into the confines of Hanzo's body. Or he made it up, his body so full of pent up emotions that he was staring to see colors. “The blue... the light.” Jesse coursed his hand up Hanzo's arm, thumb exploring scales decorating his skin. “Was that your...”

 

The thought didn't even finish in Jesse's brain before Hanzo's entire demeanor crashed. Once dreamy eyed and aroused, now terrified and almost angry. Hanzo dropped his hands to Jesse's chest, forcing him back a step to allow him enough space to escape the shower. As quick as he came, Hanzo ran without even so much of a stumble. He darted from the shower, snatching up a towel on his way out to the living room. “Hanzo, wait!” Jesse screamed, bracing himself against the wall with one hand to avoid busting it in the tub. He bit back a frustrated scream behind his lips and pounded his fist into the wall. Looked like he would be finish the shower, and himself, alone.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a scare because I nearly lost THE ENTIRE THING. My power went out suddenly over the weekend and crashed my computer, but it's fixed now and I managed to get my chapter back. So here it is! Thank you for being patient and I hope you enjoy.

The shower ended in the climax Jesse hoped for, but it was in no way satisfying. Angry as he stepped out of the shower, he noticed the mirror fogged around where Hanzo laid his hands. His own grimy clothes still on the floor, wet foot prints where his momentary lover made his escape. He sighed and snatched up a towel, drying himself off before preparing his exit from the bathroom. It didn't matter where Hanzo slept. Jesse was sleeping in the bed tonight.

 

He wrapped the now damp towel around his waist, shaking his hair out like a dog as he left the foggy bathroom. The entire hotel room was dark, every light except the digital clock out. He started towards the bedroom, flicking on the lamp and expecting to find a huffy body there. But the bed laid untouched, except in the parts where he once settled his body. There was a grocery bag on the dresser top and Jesse could see a pack of cigarettes with a couple bags of candy. He didn't want sweets, he wasn't hungry now.

 

He wanted answers.

 

Jesse darted into the main room, holding his towel around his waist. Through the light from both the bathroom and bedroom, he could see the outline of Hanzo's body on the couch. Cuddled in the blankets pulled from the closet, not the bed. “I don't understand you,” Jesse barked, thrusting his hand towards the couch. Hanzo held his back towards him, not budging. Jesse knew he wasn't asleep. “Do you want me or not?”

 

Hanzo made minimal movement under the blanket. Enough to show that he was listening, and only enough to suggest he wasn't responding. He didn't look over, burying the side of his face further into the couch pillow. “Listen, I get it if you changed your mind, but how about you tell me that.” Jesse continued, stepping a little closer to the couch. He tried to lean over him, but Hanzo only kept his body turned more away the closer he got. Like a stubborn brat. Aged beyond his years, but still a child trying to find his place in the world.

 

Jesse sucked in a frustrated breath, glancing towards the windows that led outside. There were no shadows, only darkness behind those curtains. Whoever Hanzo saw earlier must have skipped town. If he even saw anyone outside. “You need to finish what you started,” he grunted, gripping the towel tighter around his waist. Jesse already finished himself, but he was through with these games.

 

“You were already started before I walked into the shower.” Hanzo's enamored sarcasm dripped clear through the hotel room.

 

“See, you're flirting!” Jesse almost yelled, throwing both his hands at his sides. The towel began to slide and he caught it with one hand, clenching the soft fabric in his fist. “You're flirting. You kissed me, you crawled into the god damned shower and we were about to...” His voice trailed off in an angry growl and he tried his best to keep his temper in check. But Hanzo was driving him mad. It was bad enough they were wandering the states with no real direction. No home, no regular meals. But to have the added stress of someone pressing all his buttons with no release. “What do you want?”

 

Of course, he was only met with silence. Painful silence. Hanzo didn't move or give a sign that he would go further with this conversation. Without Genji to be a translator for his poor moods, Jesse was at a loss. He had to accept that someone he was two seconds from banging in the shower wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He shook his head and snatched his back pack from the floor, heading back into the bathroom. “What are you afraid of?” he questioned more to himself than his partner and shut the door.

 

Jesse tossed his dirty clothes from the floor into the bathtub. Unzipping his backpack, he dumped the remaining disheveled laundry from there as well. He fished out a clean pair of boxers and threw them on, cleaning out the grime from his travels to the best of his ability. Once done in this hotel it was back to the road again. And who knew the next time they would stop in a place like this. With the way Hanzo was acting, they would never step foot in a hotel again.

 

Sitting before the tub as it filled with water, Jesse sighed. He liked Hanzo, he did. There was something intriguing about him, and it wasn't only his body. They were all stressed, the three of them dragging a terrible past in their wake. Hanzo reminded Jesse of himself a little. Carrying burdens he didn't want to tell others. Searching for someone to related to in this awful world. And despite that, Hanzo swept him up and took care of him. Something about that man he adored.

 

But most the time he wanted to strangle him for being an aggravating mystery. Someone who teased his body and mind. Jesse had never been much for conversation, but he also wasn't fond of constant silence. And burrowing everything in helped no one. Shutting off the water, he sloshed around his dirty clothes. He was content on letting them soak through the night while he slept. If he slept.

 

He carried himself to the bedroom, glancing over his shoulder to catch a glimpse at Hanzo. Still unmoved in his spot on the couch. His things discarded in the corner of the room. Grocery bags scattered on the table. Neither of them got a chance to eat. Hanzo hadn't had the opportunity to do his laundry. This nice hotel was going to waste. Sighing, Jesse crossed the living room, digging through Hanzo's bag for his clothes. The entire time, he watched Hanzo's body, waiting for the man to react. He didn't like others touching his things. But Hanzo did not move. Back turned towards him, an icy chill seeping from his shoulder.

 

Jesse stared at him through the light seeping from the bathroom. He hoped to share the bed tonight, but it was clear Hanzo would not. And Jesse wasn't going to let that bed go to waste. He huffed loud enough for his partner to hear and wandered back into the bathroom. He dumped Hanzo's clothes into the tub as well, staring down at the mess of dirty denim and the rain soaked hoodie. The water turned a dull gray, drawing out their days on the road. Every second spent dodging rainstorms in back alleys. Nights in flimsy sleeping bags, bonfire smoke, and cigarettes. Jesse sat on the edge of the tub, draining the water before rising their clothes under the faucet.

 

Once he had everything rinsed, he draped their clothes over the shower curtain bar to dry. Hanzo still hadn't moved from his spot, and Jesse shut out the lights, collapsing into the comfy bed. Face down, stomach against the puffy pristine blanket. He drew his arms beneath the pillow and breathed into it, trying his best to forget. Forget about the fact that he was lying in the bed alone. Forget about how Hanzo's hands felt against his skin, how greedy his name sounded on another man's lips. Forget how cold it was, and not because he was lying on the blanket instead of under.

 

It didn't feel right. He didn't like sleeping so far from Hanzo. Usually there was only a fire between them, if anything. Now there was an entire room. How would Hanzo know if he had a nightmare if he wasn't close? He rolled onto his back and stared towards the ceiling, then all over the room. He could make out the television and lamp through the sliver of light from the curtains. Silence. No crackling fire. No wind. No soft snoring from the person wrapped in his arms.

 

Jesse grunted, rolling on his side now. He earned this spot on the bed after so long of offering it to the brothers. He wasn't going to let Hanzo's bad mood take this from him. Even if meant a bad mood of his own. He tried to get comfortable, although this was the cushiest thing he felt in months. But something about the bed didn't feel right. There was too much room. Too much space for him to stretch out. No bumping shoulders. No grinding hips. Only enough space to stretch his legs and arms out without touching anything. He hated it.

 

There was no way he was sleeping in that bed tonight.

 

Jesse stood from the bed and drug his tired body towards the darkened living room. They hadn't been apart for long, but Jesse knew he would be tossing and turning without a second of sleep. It seemed that Hanzo had not moved from his spot, still wrapped tight in the white hotel blanket. Back towards the room, facing the couch with tremendous weight on his shoulders. Jesse stared down at him, a first for him to approach Hanzo while he was sleeping. Should he ask? Hanzo never did. He always crawled in.

 

So Jesse did. Slow, awkward. Snaking his body against Hanzo's stomach pressed to back. As he crawled in, Hanzo scooted forward to allow them both space on the cushions, but did not offer any support. Jesse hesitated wrapping his arms around him in case he did not want that. Although he wanted to hold him. This wasn't after a nightmare, but he felt distressed.

 

They lingered in terrible silence and finally Hanzo moved. He turned, pressing his back into the couch, and slid his arms in their normal spot. Around Jesse's torso to where he could pull himself closer, resting his head against his chest. Listening to his out of control heart. Unsteady, but a comfort nonetheless. Jesse eased against him and could sense the anxiety dwelling in Hanzo's body. He brought his hands to his hair, dragging his rugged fingers through long dark locks. Chin against his forehead, wanting to lay his lips there instead.

 

He would wait. Hanzo had much to say, and Jesse would wait.

 

Hanzo's strong arms tightened, his fingertips pressing into Jesse's shoulder blades. His face warm against his bare chest, and for a moment Jesse felt him tremble. “I used to do this for your comfort,” Hanzo stated through the quiet of the hotel room. His words louder than his normal tone. Not as firm, not as secure. His volume only a mask for his apprehension. Voice rumbling along side the air conditioner, vibrating against Jesse's chest. “You scream in your sleep and it irritated me. I did not know how to be nice about it.”

 

“Coulda woke me, darlin',” Jesse hummed, dropping his chin an inch. His instinct to kiss Hanzo's forehead. They had done worse, but he still hesitated should that kiss go unwanted. He felt the shorter man's body tense up more, most likely due to the nickname. A simple slip of the tongue for Jesse, but something unheard of to Hanzo.

 

“I told you that I tried. But you only fell back asleep, and back into your nightmares.” It had been a while since he had a nightmare. Or a dream that he could remember. The last one on the night Hanzo attacked Genji. Since then, he hadn't slept well because of the situation. Most nights he ran on only a couple hours of sleep. He had grown to love the feel of this man's body wrapped around him. Being without him hurt worse than his nightmares. “I didn't know what to do. You would not let me sleep. So I began to hold you.”

 

Without a word. Without an excuse. And now it was more than a comfort. It was a need. Hanzo cleared his throat and tried to loosen his body against Jesse's. He was growing too hot and not from the temperature in the room. “I thought that having a body there would soothe you. Let you think of something else.”

 

“Oh, I thought of something else,” Jesse chuckled and Hanzo only squirmed in response. But not in his normal manner. He seemed to make sure he didn't brush his hips into naughty places. Trying hardest not to deter the conversation. “It has... helped a lot, Hanzo.”

 

“You seem to have less nightmares. Or if you have them, you are quieter about them.” Hanzo paused. His grip faded and he leaned his head back from Jesse's chest. Away from his now calming heartbeat. For a moment, he chewed on his bottom lip, hesitating with his next thought. “It became... a habit for me. Sharing this space with you, waking up next to you. A weird comfort I had not predicted. Sleeping without you has been... difficult.”

 

It took everything in Jesse not to start glowing. The two of them, sleeping feet apart over the past few weeks, sharing the same feelings of absence. “All you had to do was ask, sugar,' Jesse murmured and Hanzo tensed at the nickname again. Not from displeasure. But from unfamiliarity. Kind pet names never aimed in his direction given so easy from Jesse's lips. “I wouldn't have said no.”

 

“I have not been honest with you,” Hanzo muttered and Jesse had to hold back the laugh that gathered in his throat. Hanzo had not been open about much of anything, so any words were a surprise to him. Trust worthy or not. “Getting close to others is terrifying for me. So I look to avoid it.”

 

As the last few words fell from his lips, he tightened his grasp around Jesse. As if he feared losing him in that moment. One of the only people he allowed his mind and body to grow close to. Jesse only tightened his embrace in return as a gesture that he would be going nowhere anytime soon. Especially alone. “I grew up with Genji by my side. Since he was born, we were inseparable. We fought, as most siblings do, but it was never anything major. I never had friends. Talking with my family was no good. So if I could not tell Genji my feelings, I could tell no one.”

 

Jesse thought of his mother. The only person he had growing up. His father bolted months before he was born. And he only knew his mother's acquaintances in passing. No one worth getting close to. She was his rock, rolling him through the difficult times. He told her everything and anything. Jesse bit down on his lip, remembering the look he gave her before she died. Eyes like his, far more hospitable. Far more kind that his ever cold be.

 

“I started to train harder, only listened to the words of my elders.” Hanzo's voice picked up, his volume drowning out the creeping emotion in his throat. “The thing I loved most became this... deadly obsession. The voice in the back of my head destroyed the bond I shared with him and...” With a sharp inhale, he burrowed his head back down against Jesse's chest. Hiding his face in shame, burying his story against warm bronze skin. “I knew I would try to kill him one day if I continued under my family. So we ran, and I thought I would change. But I did not.”

 

Jesse wanted to tell him that he had changed. In the few months that he knew him, he had grown. It was evident in the way that he was finally speaking with him. Telling him of his past. But Jesse understood. The fear of having something so rooted in his brain that could destroy him and those around him. Although the nightmares had dimmed, there wasn't a day Jesse didn't wake up expecting to find a body at his feet. Luckily it had only been one in his arms. Jesse drew his fingers through Hanzo's long hair, spreading it down his back and shoulders. He finally laid that lingering kiss across his forehead to show that he was listening. He felt Hanzo's body ease a bit against him.

 

“I dream of my dragons. They are in all my nightmares, especially the ones in which I succeed in killing Genji.” The blue. The calming blue that shrouded Jesse on so many nights to protect him from his own terrors. Something he thought to be a figment in the back of his brain that finally came to fruition in the shower. No shape, only light. “Mine do not react like Genji's anymore. His offers protection, safety. Warmth.” Something Jesse felt every night he shared his space with Hanzo. Warmth. Blue, comforting warmth. “Mine, they bring about terror. They fill my entire body with rage. They hate and want to destroy me.”

 

“I've never felt that,” Jesse wanted to say, pocketing that thought for later. He feared that interrupting would stop his companion. He wanted to know more. He wanted to know everything about him. And his voice, although louder to hide his budding emotions, was soothing to him. Like falling asleep beside a crackling fire, wrapped in blue safety.

 

“When you said something in the shower, I panicked. I thought that if my dragons threatened to appear, I would hurt you as I hurt anything I love.” The words fell out faster than he intended and Hanzo sucked in his breath through parted teeth. Even through the dark, Jesse could sense the terrible heat that flooded through the man's body. Loved, huh? “Care about... anything I care about.”

 

The two fell into silence. They moved their bodies to get more comfortable against the couch. Until Jesse laid on his back, head against the arm of the couch. Hanzo almost sprawled on top of him. Arms still around his chest, thighs entwined and feet tangled. He pressed his head against Jesse's bare chest, his ear right over his heart. Listening to the way it pattered. Unsteady at first before it fell into a soothing rhythm. Matching the rise and fall of his chest, flowing with his breath. He closed his eyes, trying to forget the slip of the tongue and Jesse continued to run his fingers through his hair.

 

Long, damp locks that dangled down his back. Soaked into his white undershirt and flayed against the hotel blanket. They grew so close that Jesse could feel Hanzo's heartbeat thudding against his body. “I didn't feel threatened,” Jesse muttered, crossing his arms over Hanzo's back. “Seein' that light, you know... it felt nice.” It felt right. As did any moment he spent wrapped up in the illusive archer.

 

Hanzo remained quiet, not out of defiance, but lack of response. He had wracked his brain for all the words he could muster this evening. Although he could not read the clock, Jesse knew it was time to finally get some rest. He let another kiss fall against Hanzo's forehead and accept the peaceful silence. He wanted to know more, but he was willing to wait until morning for answers.

 

 

 

 

_The sky. Red. But not a terrible red. The violence drained from the clouds. Higher up speckled with patches of soothing purples and blues. Stars ready to swing themselves with the moon. Jesse stared up into the beautiful sky. Heart pounding, the pain in his mind only a dull buzz now._

 

_Lying in the ground at his feet, his gun. Empty of bullets. The only thing in the dirt that stretched for miles. Bodies gone. No more blood. His finger clicked for the trigger once before he relaxed. Now his hand ached to hold something else. Someone else. A comfortable, warm body._

 

_Somewhere in the distance, another figure. Blurred, like the pictures. Bright blue and blonde. A face he knew well, but couldn't recall. Someone he responded to when they barked orders. He left him. He left him... “Look what I did.”_

 

“ _We didn't leave you,” the man responded. Blunt, gruff. His voice sounding right in his ear although miles away. “You didn't do anything.”_

 

_All the red zipped from the sky, replaced in a soaring blue. Calming, peaceful. Enveloping his heart in protection. He reached up, pressing his hand into his chest. His heart, out of control. His fingers twitched and he longed to hold him._

 

_Wonderful warmth flooded through every vein in his body, draining into the ground at his feet._

 

Jesse opened his eyes in amazement in the dead of night. Hanzo crashed in his arms, dead asleep although the room flared with such vibrant color. A beautiful swirl of blue danced down the back of the couch. A dragon, like Genji's, standing beside him. Gathered at the foot of the couch, a second one, peering at the both of them. Tremendous in size, burly and strong, but cautious.

 

Swallowing, Jesse only curled his arms tighter around his lover. He wanted to wake him, show him his own dragons he had not seen in years. But he feared waking him would only make them wander. Disappear as always. So he would let Hanzo come to on his own, zipping his lips and admiring their glorious bodies. They were intimidating, but he did not feel threatened.

 

They seemed tired, making circles around the couch. Slithering over Hanzo's body and inspecting Jesse from head to toe. Smelling him, coiling their warmth against his skin. Serene and cautious. They were protectors, despite what Hanzo assumed, but needed rest like their owner. They had been fighting battles in Hanzo's mind for him for too long and needed a break.

 

Or Hanzo felt safe enough for the first time to let them wander.

 

Hanzo began to stir against his body, sucking in a startled, tired breath. Jesse remained silent, only staring down at him and brushing his fingers through his hair. If he said nothing and let Hanzo see himself, they might not run. Notice them on his own. But as he started to wake, the dragons cowered. Both stepping towards the foot of the couch, watching their owner with cautious eyes. When Hanzo completely came to, lifting his head from Jesse's chest, the two slithered out of sight. Their blue glow pulsed on the other end of the couch.

 

“Are you awake?” Hanzo slurred through a sleepy moan, lifting his head. He narrowed his tired eyes, not seeming to notice the signal of blue behind him. Or the static tingle that danced along his arm.

 

The glow evaporated to the foot of the couch out of sight and Jesse held his tongue. He would let Hanzo catch them on his own, let them welcome him as they wished. It was driving him crazy to stay silent. But for now, it was time to move somewhere more comfortable than the couch. “My leg is going numb,” Jesse laughed as he brushed tousled hair out of Hanzo's face. The other man grumbled, adjusting his body to get them more comfortable, but it was no use on the tiny couch. He almost slipped off as Jesse tried to usher him to stand. “Let's go sleep in the bed. More room there.”

 

“Okay...” Hanzo stumbled as he came to his feet, grabbing a hold of Jesse's arm in a sleepy stupor. He leaned into him, almost sleep walking, and allowed Jesse to lead him towards the bedroom. It was quite a few degrees colder and he shivered, drawing his body as close as possible as he stared at the empty bed. A current of electricity jolted between them and Jesse could see the dragons from the couch.

 

Jesse waited for him to crawl in, but it was obvious he was so tired that he could hardly function at the moment. “After you,” Jesse offered, peeling back the puffy hotel comforter. He looked past Hanzo, locked on the dragons, and drew his hand towards the empty space on the bed.

 

“Okay...” Hanzo muttered again, heavy eyes closed. Never once letting his hand slip from the small grip that he held around Jesse's wrist. He crawled into bed and pulled his partner with him, watching Jesse inch the covers around them. But before he could even lay his head against the pillow, Hanzo pulled him into a quiet, sleepy series of kisses.

 

Slow at first, Hanzo snaking his arm around the back of his head, pulling him almost on top of him. Through tongue and low laughter that rumbled from Hanzo's throat and onto Jesse's lips. Jesse rested an elbow on one side of Hanzo's head, enjoying the feeling of a greedy hand dragging down his bare back. He pulled Jesse's hips down to meet his own, fingers clawing at the elastic of his boxers. Even half asleep, Hanzo had the intimate ability to make his skin shiver from head to toe.

 

Jesse leaned his head to the side as Hanzo found a particularly sensitive spot of skin in the crook of his neck. Teasing it with open lips, nipping and suckling on the skin. Jesse moaned, shutting his eyes for only a moment. He might get what he wanted out of this night after all. As Hanzo nursed the tender skin with his tongue, Jesse felt that shock, the blue fluttering in his mind. He knew the dragons parked themselves somewhere in the living room, but Hanzo had to feel it. He opened his eyes, only surrounded by the darkness of the bedroom. A small strip of moonlight poured from the slit in the curtains.

 

“Hanzo,” Jesse muttered, swallowing down a groan. Hanzo's lips traveled to another spot on his collar bone, intent on leaving love bites all over his skin. As much as Jesse adored the idea of getting marked, he had questions that refused to leave him. “Do you feel okay around me?” Hanzo paused for a moment, his hand traveling back along Jesse's spine. His fingers trickling electricity along his skin, until finally resting on his shoulder. He breathed against the fresh red mark, pressing full lips into it. Without an answer, he continued to kiss where he laid his teeth. He he didn't receive an answer, Jesse pressed, “I mean, I know you're okay with me. We're... like this. But... do I make you feel calm? Comfortable?”

 

He could draw up the words he wanted without being obvious. And in a selfish thought, _“Am I the reason your dragons are here?”_

 

“I am too tired for questions,” Hanzo breathed against his skin with something of a tired laugh. The arm that once slung around Jesse's neck drew back until his palm was cradling the man's face. Soft, caring. Thumb against his lip. Like it belonged there. Jesse kissed it and felt a smile spread against his collar bone.

 

“Too tired for talking, but not this?” Jesse questioned, tilting his head a bit so that Hanzo had to pull away.

 

Pressing foreheads together, Hanzo closed his eyes, a hum buzzing against his lips. “It does not need as much thought.”

 

Jesse laughed, pressing his lips into Hanzo's for a quick peck. Hanzo's sleepy demeanor was endearing, but there was a pang of defeat down in Jesse's heart at the lost answer. He knew the question wouldn't leave his mind. He wanted Hanzo to see the blue. He wanted him to accept his dragons again. Pressing the issue wouldn't help, though. And it was best to push it back and let their hands and lips do the talking for the night. “When we wake up tomorrow,” he muttered through another full kiss, “you better start talkin'. I have questions.”

 

The two rolled into heated kisses, Jesse drawing away to straddle Hanzo's hips with his thighs. The hotel blanket slid down his back and he coursed his hand over Hanzo's stomach. Drawing up his undershirt to reveal a ripple of solid muscles and smooth skin. He cursed himself for leaving the light off. The sight of Hanzo's body beneath him, a strip of moonlight dripping over his stomach. Face flushed, eager. Amazing. But no doubt better in full light. Jesse didn't get a good enough look in the shower, and any other time Hanzo came at him shirtless, it was dark.

 

Instead, he explored with his hands, pushing up the shirt until it bunched above his pectorals. Hanzo shivered at his fingers spreading on skin, watching the way Jesse moved against his lap. Grinding his thigh into the hardening erection gathered in his sweatpants. Careful, drawing fingers down his stomach. He reached down, grasping his hands against Jesse's hips to encourage him to roll them forward.

 

Jesse obliged, leaning his weight further against the pop in Hanzo's pants. Enjoying the way he squirmed beneath him with each roll of his hips and brush of his fingers. His hands pressed into Hanzo's pecs, amazed at the solid muscle that hid beneath his clothes all this time. He didn't look like much, bundled in layers of shabby warmth, drowned out by his bow and backpack. But there was a lot of hidden strength that Jesse blessed in the back of his mind. He swore to himself, looking towards the lamp. “I need to turn on this light, darlin',” he grunted with half a smile, reluctant to let a hand off his lover's chest. He would have to hop off his position to reach it, but it would be worth it to devour this sight in full light.

 

“No,” Hanzo interrupted, grabbing the hand in mid air and bringing it to his face. He kissed the inside of Jesse's palm. “Do not go far,” the man murmured, traveling his words against Jesse's fingers. He kissed the tips before bringing two into his mouth. Sucking and nipping like he did that sensitive spot in the crook of Jesse's neck. Slow and tender. Keeping him, claiming him although he was underneath. Jesse tensed, intent eyes on his wanting lips around his fingers. How he would love to fill them with something else. Hanzo drew the fingers from his mouth, sliding his tongue along the length with a knowing smile. “You are already taking much too long...”

 

“If someone hadn't of run off in the shower, I would have finished you hours ago,” Jesse retorted. He let his hands now fall back against Hanzo's chest. Tracing the pattern of his intricate dragon tattoo, thumb circling a pebbling nipple. His fingertip left a trail of goosebumps along the gold lightening and blue scales.

 

Hanzo only laughed despite the pull in his body, his chuckle deep within his thick chest. “Hours ago? You under estimate me, cowboy.” He drew both his hands up and placed them on Jesse's cheeks, pulling him close so they were breaths apart. “I intend to have my way with you all night.”

 

Jesse swallowed, trying to keep a cool demeanor as his body erupted with excitement. A different person laid beneath him, cracking sensual jokes and a teasing smile. Not that he did not like it. Jesse loved it. He hoped it also meant that Hanzo was feeling more like himself. Swallowing back his pang of arousal, he laid a kiss against Hanzo's lips, biting it as he pulled back. “Is that a challenge, archer?”

 

“You are making it one.” Jesse lifted his eyebrows with a tilt of his head. A smirk tugged at his lips and he thought to continue this playful banter, but Hanzo did not let him. Instead replacing his budding words with an eager tongue. One of Hanzo's hands slid from his face, against his collar bone, and down his chest. Fingers fleeing over Jesse's stomach, teasing at the elastic of his waistband. All the while Jesse searched out a spot on Hanzo's shoulder to leave his own mark. The little spot he brandished earlier dulled to a pale brown, so Jesse sunk his teeth into the delicate skin. Hanzo's body shivered in response, his hungry fingers grasping around his boxers.

 

His other arm snaked back around Jesse's neck. Pulling him close, keeping their chests pressed together. A rapid heartbeat against his own, the beginning of sweat pooling on their skin. “Jesse,” Hanzo breathed, head back against the pillow, eyes shut tight. With their bodies so close together, he found it difficult to inch his hand where he wanted to touch. But for the second content with the over the clothes grinding their hips created. But he wanted more, as did Jesse. “Please...” His words tangled in his throat with each illicit moan brought on by Jesse's traveling teeth. The pale brown returned to the rich shade of purple, almost bleeding had Jesse bit any harder.

 

“You're awfully noisy for someone who's too tired to talk,” Jesse smiled against his shoulder. Or for someone who up until this day never liked to talk. Hanzo let out an impatient grunt of disapproval and Jesse snickered against his skin. Best not to push his luck. He had Hanzo exactly where he wanted, and he wasn't willing to let him run this time. Judging by the moans escaping his lovers throat, he wouldn't be going anywhere soon.

 

But then he gasped. And not from arousal. A gasp that hardened Hanzo's entire body as he pushed the both of them upright in bed. Jesse opened wide eyes to the brilliant swirls of blue. The dragons had joined them, circled around the two on the bed with curious, but tired glances.

 

Hanzo only sat, a hand over his mouth, staring at his dragons. His complexion fell ghastly pale and it looked as though he stopped breathing. Fear. Fear wracked his eyes, tears coating the edges. One of the dragons huffed and Hanzo flinched, ready to take action should they lunge forward. They hated him. They hated what he became and wanted to destroy him. His anxious body vibrated, although obvious his dragons were as frightened to see him.

 

Although they did not present a threat, Hanzo could not come down. Jesse threw his hands to his face, rubbing his thumb against his cheekbones. A low hush pursed through his lips and he said, “It's okay. It's okay, Hanzo.” Hanzo shook his head, his eyes never leaving the dragons. Darting between the two, afraid that if he lost sight of one, the other would attack. The last time he saw them, they circled him in his nightmares. Growling and hissing, standing over the dead body of his brother. Angry and ready to tear him apart. “Hanzo, you're okay. They don't wanna hurt you.”

 

For a quick second, Hanzo met eyes with his lover, quick to revert back to the closest dragons. They were defensive, but not hostile. Ducking back each time Hanzo made a move. Almost curious, but not enough to come closer. Hanzo let his hand fall from his lips, reaching out to one. Slow, spread fingers towards its head. Like it were a cat, a timid, skittish cat. The dragon tensed, drawing back at the sight of the hand, but did not hiss like Genji's. It sniffed the air, bowing its head low with a flinch. Until finally he touched it.

 

The second his fingertips spread against warm scales, Hanzo's entire body crashed.

 

He broke down in an instant, every tear threatening his eye lids falling like a faucet. He did not mean to sob, but it was as if every rope holding him inside his body snapped, releasing his emotions in a flood. Jesse felt his defenses crumble in his hands, watching the way the dragon warmed up to him. Crawling between them, dragging its slithering body against its owner with exhausted love.

 

The warmth came between them and Hanzo choked out a heavy sob, the other dragon coming to his aid. He was falling apart. The wall his elders built had come down. And now he finally felt like himself. The dragons coiled around the both of them, nuzzling their snouts into Hanzo's arms. Smelling him, patting their nostrils on his chin and arms. Although locked deep in his brain for years, they still came back for him.

 

And Hanzo cried, his mouth open. Waiting to spill words. So many words building. But he couldn't. Jesse kissed beneath his leaking eyes. “It's okay... it's okay.” He continued to breathe to soothe his tearful lover. Half of him heartbroken to see such tears, the other half smiling as he knew they were all for good. Hanzo looked like he wanted to speak, but like all the years he spent under his elders, unable to form the words. His entire body wracked with terrified happiness. Jesse kissed beneath his eye once more, then his temple. “What are you feelin', sweetheart?”

 

Hanzo sucked in a long, shuddering breath, shutting his eyes at the feeling of Jesse's kiss on his skin. One hand trailed along the lengthy back of his dragon, the other placed firm on Jesse's thigh. He swallowed and choked out, “Safe.” Leaning his forehead into his lovers, he opened his eyes. Even through the darkness, Jesse trembled at the heartfelt stare of midnight eyes. “I feel so safe... with you.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, friends. I know it's been quite a few months since I've updated. Three days after I posted the last chapter, my dad was involved in a terrible accident and passed away. It's been a very long three months and due to the nature of his death, unfortunately my family still has a lot to handle regarding court cases and such. So my mind was not in a good place to do much of anything for a while, especially write (as most of my writing circles around death). But I've been a little better in these recent weeks and finally sat down to finish up this chapter. It's much longer than I expected as when I started writing again, I just kind of took off. Thank you everyone so much for your patience and understanding, and again, all the kudos and comments in my absence have been a true blessing. Overwatch means more to me than some people know, and even though I'm not the most active in the community, writing for it makes me feel at home.

Hanzo's attention rested full in Jesse's eyes. Searching his features, his mouth quivering with anticipation. Jesse coursed his thumb beneath his eye, feeling every vibration of his nervous body. His fingertips freeing him of scared tears. He did it with a breath and a smile, almost trembling himself at the thought. Safe. Hanzo felt safe because of him. He didn't want to be selfish, but he was part of the reason Hanzo's dragons returned.

The slender creatures continued circles around the bed, brushing against the lovers. Making sure to inspect every inch of their surroundings before getting comfortable. One of them burrowing into the blanket, the other taking rest on the puffy pillows. Hanzo, reluctant to look away from his partner, watched the dragons ease around them. Swallowing as he played with a fin at the end of one's tail. His other hand continued to course against Jesse's thigh. An absent motion, squeezing his leg and pressing fingers under the hem of Jesse's boxers. He swallowed, tucking back what remained of his draining emotions. With a smile, almost laughing, he pressed his forehead into Jesse's as he closed his eyes. "I do not like to cry like that."

"Think you needed to, sugar." Hanzo drew his other hand to Jesse's thigh, both trailing along his skin. Gentle, using Jesse as support as he still straddled his waist. Wasn't good to keep everything bottled in like that. Or else he would end up screaming in his sleep like Jesse. Staring at his love worn, energy drained partner was enough to swell some tears in his own eyes.

Now he wished he turned the lights on earlier.

Even better than looking at his toned body was staring at his flushed face. Brilliant midnight eyes glistened with remnants of tears. His lips pursed, breathing out a pulsing sigh. Skin stained with blotches of reds dabbing at his cheeks. Jesse hated the color, but it looked beautiful across Hanzo's skin. Like the first day they met, huddled in that cold, wet alley way. Jesse wasn't much of a believer, but he landed himself an angel. "You're so beautiful," he breathed, sealing the space between them with a kiss. No tongue, only lips and mingled breath. One that Hanzo melted into, his shoulders falling and the last of his defenses crumbling into the bed. His hands tightened around Jesse's thighs, bunching the thin boxers between his fingers.

"Thank you," Hanzo whispered against his lips.

Jesse chuckled back into him, letting his hand slide from their place on his face. "Statin' the obvious."

"No, thank you." He gestured to the bed around them with one hand, eyeing his dragons for a moment. "For this. For everything... thank you."

"Darlin', if you hadn't of saved me back then, I'd be in jail right now." Dead, even. Jesse owed him his life. Hanzo huffed out a rough breath through half a smile, his hands still running. Fingertips memorizing every curve and scar along Jesse's thighs. His palms against thick muscle, nails dragging back down heated skin. He kissed Jesse, slow to saver each second their lips hooked together. Offering his tongue instead of words, unable to piece them in sentences any longer. Jesse's hands fell on Hanzo's chest, one over his heart, the other around the bunched undershirt. Each time their lips escaped each other, Hanzo chased them with his lover's name. Shuddered, needy. Sounding like his name had a home in Hanzo's voice.

Jesse swallowed his pleading sigh with a deeper kiss, inching them back against the bed. Hanzo's body hit the mattress and he kept himself wrapped in his lover. Like the nights spent on the couch. Legs and thighs entangled, their unsteady hearts pounding against another. Jesse rode into him, frustrated with the clothes between their bodies. Hanzo linked his fingers into his lover's underwear, beginning to tug them down his hips. Until he felt a puff of warm air against his cheek.

The two opened their eyes, blinded by the brilliant blue glow of the dragon still perched on the pillow. Inspecting them with little arms crossed like a lion admiring his pride. "They, uh... gonna sit there?" Jesse shivered as the other pranced over his feet, curling up by their knees. "I can't handle that pressure."

Hanzo loosened his grasp on Jesse's boxers, snapping his fingers towards the door. The two dragons popped their heads at the sound, but didn't move otherwise. The one on the pillow yawned in his face, stretching his little talons into the pillow. Hanzo grunted and Jesse bit back a laugh before his lover barked out an order in Japanese. The one by their knees darted from the room, followed by the other who slithered away like a bratty child. Rolling off the bed onto the floor, making sure to smack its tail against the wall as it left so they knew it was leaving. "Better?" Hanzo smirked, hand returning to the elastic of Jesse's underwear. His lips pressed into the underside of the man's chin, running a trail along his jaw.

The angry blue pulsed from the living room, and Jesse hoped they would remain there the rest of the evening. "Better," he agreed, his eye passing the grocery bags on the dresser top. He hadn't even thought about the things they may need in this situation. He doubted the hotel stocked up on condoms. At least in the room. He wasn't about to march up to the front desk for them. And even if they were both clean, things would be difficult without lube. "You didn't happen to grab anything at the store?" Jesse questioned and Hanzo threw his head back with a dramatic sigh.

"I bought food, what does that matter?" Hanzo breathed, an impatient twitch pulling his eyebrow. Too many distractions, far too many interruptions.

"I know you bought food, but I mean like... things for this. You know." Hanzo peered at him through the darkness, taking in a long, slow breath to collect himself.

He gripped Jesse's hair tight near his nape, pulling him down so their eyes met. His other hand snaked between them, coursing over his boxers. He grabbed a handful of Jesse's package, squeezing his balls within his palm. "I am not concerned," he growled and Jesse buckled in his grasp. Taking charge as always.

Jesse swallowed through a nod, reminding himself to keep focused from here on out. After all the teasing he dealt with earlier, he couldn't let another thing come between them. Including their clothes. Jesse slid off his boxers, kicking them somewhere off the side of the bed. He tried to keep himself braced on one hand, but Hanzo's fondling between their bodies drove him mad. His hand working up the length of his shaft as he squirmed out of his clothes. Too impatient to wait until they undressed. Like Jesse, he had been waiting forever for this, and there wasn't much else that would stop them. Except lack of supplies, but they would work around that. Hanzo released him and let his budding erection spring free. It fell heavy against Hanzo's thigh, begging for touch.

The dragons pouted in the other room, but Jesse felt the flood of blue heat radiating from Hanzo. Another reminder of safety that Hanzo welcomed anything from Jesse's hands. Jesse leaned forward and pressed a kiss into the side of his man's high cheekbone. His lips noting that like Hanzo had been to him all these months, Jesse was about to be so good to him. "I owe you so much," he whispered beneath his breath, meaning to keep that thought in his head. But he was so overcome with lustful emotion that he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Jesse's lips wandered against his skin and down his neck, and Hanzo cupped his face to aid him as he went. "You owe me nothing," he murmured back, lips pursed in awe. Each fluttering kiss sent a shock through his body. Prickling his skin, directing heat through his veins. Jesse smiled at the way his partner's body shivered when he laid his lips on him, feeling him arch closer. His fingers brushing against his face, warm and desperate as Jesse made his descent down his body. Kiss after kiss down aching skin. Down the swirling dragon on his chest, against his stomach, until he finally came to his desired spot.

Hanzo perched his body upright on one elbow, reaching out to card his fingers through his lover's hair. Admiring the way he looked between his legs, like an image plucked from his favorite dreams. Jesse followed the sliver of moonlight pooling against his body with greedy eyes. Over the muscles of his arms, across the curve of his stomach, and the dips of his hip. Every inch of him laid out for Jesse to devour. He wanted to trace every line of Hanzo's body, but there wasn't enough time in the world to fill his fingertips. Especially when he wanted to do more with his mouth.

Guided by Hanzo's eager hand and the arousal swelling in his body, he dipped his lips lower. On the cut of his hipbone, Jesse's head lingering between his legs and Hanzo's thighs on his shoulders. He lapped lower with his tongue, tasting heated skin. A smile broke across his lips when Hanzo gripped his hair in impatience, urging him to go lower. The cowboy obliged, nuzzling his lips into the tightness of his partner's underwear. Licking, nibbling at him through the cloth. He bit his lip, reliving the fantasy of Hanzo between his legs. Although on the opposite end, he enjoyed the sight of his partner squirming under his touch. Sucking him through his boxers, holding his hips down against the best to endure the torture. They had all night. He wanted to make the best of it.

Jesse removed his partner's underwear, sliding them over his hips and off one leg. Hanzo couldn't shake them from his ankle before the cowboy took him in his mouth. His body tensed and he pressed his foot into the bed. At first, the head with a lazy tongue swirling along the tip, until he slid his mouth further down. Jesse had to hold back the laugh dwelling in his stomach at the archer's desperation. As if he had been waiting since day one for this touch. The three didn't get much alone time. Hanzo might have spent his showers pumping out his frustrations, too. Flooding his head every night of Jesse filling him to sensual completion.

Every stroke of his tongue was slow and meticulous, trailing up the underside of his shaft to tip. Drawing out a slow and desperate moan each time, growing louder and more impatient. Hanzo tried to drive his hips to fill his lover's mouth, but Jesse held him down with his hands and a sideways smirk. "Oh, sugar," he hummed along the underside of his erection. Hanzo bit his lip at the vibration, one hand clenching the comforter beneath their bodies. Satisfied with his partner's struggle, Jesse slid his lips down his cock, taking as much of him as he could. A trail of saliva dripping from his lips upon drawing back, his hands replacing his lips. He stroked Hanzo with tight fingers as he got to his knees between his partner's twitching thighs. "Been a while, sugar?"

"Longer than it should have been," Hanzo grunted through gritted teeth. He watched his partner with fading breath and intent dark eyes. The way he combed back the messy hair from his forehead to get a better look at him. Sweat beading on his tanned skin despite the air conditioner on full blast. That charming smirk, his quick hand. Hanzo shuddered under his touch, open and vulnerable. A position he despised, but one he offered to the safety of his lover's hands.

"Should have been?" Jesse slowed his movement, reaching out with his free hand to run it up his companion's stomach. He drew his fingers over the hard lines of his abs. "You sayin' I'm slow?"

With a huff of impatience, Hanzo arched into the touch, still thrusting his hips into his grasp. "You don't take hints well."

Jesse smiled, his lazy fingers crawling up the man's body. His palm spread over hot skin, thumb circling a pert nipple. "Could have asked, sweetheart." His hand passed the white undershirt bunched on his chest. He drew his fingertips over Hanzo's lips, feeling his warm and desperate sigh against them. "Help me out, darlin'."

Hanzo parted his lips with a moan, offering his tongue to the digits begging for entrance. Jesse slid two fingers into his mouth, the motion in his lips matching the speed around his cock. At first slow, stretching their evening and torturing him through the alone time. Thighs quivering around him, the solid mass in his palm twitching. Anticipation building from every sexual frustration he choked down over the months. "That's good, baby," Jesse swooned with a side smirk, biting his lip as he watched his partner devour his fingers. Those soft lips that once wrapped around the base of a shared cigarette. Often imagined wrapped around other things.

Jesse drew his fingers from the archer's mouth, Hanzo's eager tongue chasing them. Still propped on his elbow, looking down between their bodies where Jesse worked his cock. Jesse slid the slick digits between them, circling his lover's entrance. Hanzo closed his mouth, sucking in a breath through his teeth. His body tensed and Jesse felt his thighs tighten around him. A long glance passed between them. Jesse tilting his head in silent question, Hanzo nodding with a breathy plea.

With the silent approval from Hanzo's tongue, Jesse pushed a slick finger into his lover. Up to the knuckle, drawing out slow, all the while continuing to work the man's stiff member. He leaned over as he inserted a second finger, taking Hanzo back into his mouth much to his pleasure. Hanzo's body shivered, a trail of speckled skin fleeing over his body. His hands clawing at the blanket, aching to hold more than fabric. His fingers darted to Jesse's head, tangling in his disheveled bed hair. Twisting and pulling Jesse further down his shaft until he filled his lips to the hilt. Shuddering from every slick movement filling him. Jesse's laugh rumbled around his cock, throat vibrating through every nerve. "What... is funny?" Hanzo breathed, voice strained and choking from his lips. Although he asked a question, his fingers were not willing to let go long enough for an answer. But he knew by the tangled knot in his stomach that Jesse found his struggling entertaining.

Hanzo threw his head back, doing everything in his power not to pummel his lover's throat. He couldn't help the sturdy grip around Jesse's rugged locks, holding his head in place as he moved inside him. His thighs quivering in frustration, shivers penetrating his spine as he neared climax. "Jesse, I..." he began with a choke and Jesse could sense the tenseness growing in his body. His erection twitching between his lips, body pulling from the mattress. He was close. But Jesse had more in mind.

Jesse pulled his fingers from Hanzo's entrance and pushed his thighs down against the bed. His mouth pulled away with a loud pop and Hanzo whined in abandonment. "Wha-" he groaned through a lustful blink of his eyes, shaking his head, desperate. "What are you doing? Why did you stop?" he pleaded as Jesse slid his thighs over Hanzo's legs, pinning him in place down against the bed. Hanzo drove himself upward to crash their bodies together. He tried to use the crevasse their hips created to bring himself to finish. His hand shot down between them, but Jesse was quick to catch him.

"I ain't done with you," Jesse grinned, grabbing his partner's wrists and holding them at his hips. Hanzo breathed out, his entire body rumbling on the brink of orgasm. His face flushed, eyes hazy and angered. "Ain't going to let you finish that easy. Thought this was going all night?"

Hanzo was too tired to reply with words, only able to muster a whine of protest. His body continued to writhe and he could feel himself losing his orgasm. "Doesn't feel so great when someone leaves you hanging, does it?" Jesse breathed in a husky whisper, leaning over his struggling partner. Hanzo squirmed to bring their hips together, keeping himself bound beneath his lover. He knew he could escape at any time, but he liked feeling restrained. He felt out of control of his mind and body for so long. It was comforting to place himself in the hands of someone who would protect him. Even if he were being merciless for the moment.

"I'm sorry," Hanzo pleaded, biting down on his lower lip. Brows knitted, lip almost quivering from exhausted agony.

"You're sorry now?" That smirk. That pull on the side of Jesse's lip that Hanzo loved so much. Tugging at the little scar that ran over his top lip, matched with honey eyes dripping in deviance. "Sorry for what? Grinding into me all the time when we're sleepin'?" Jesse lowered his hips, a slow sensual drag against Hanzo's tensed member. Quivering and aching for release. His hips matching the way Hanzo squirmed when they shared a sleeping space. Enough contact to stir some trouble, not enough to finish the job. "Sorry for kissing me on the roof and then running away? Lettin' me sleep alone in the cold, cold rain..."

"Jesse, please," Hanzo huffed through a heavy exhale, twisting his wrists. He wanted to grab him, hold him. Draw him closer so no inch of their bodies went untouched. But he was stuck, expected to harbor the torture he laid on Jesse all these months.

"Sorry for leaving the shower when I had you right where I wanted you?" Jesse drew up Hanzo's bound wrists over his head, bracing his elbows against the pillow to hover over him. Letting his lips linger only inches from Hanzo's, teasing him with breath and an absent kiss. The lack of attention to his cock grew almost painful. Hanzo bucked up into him, searching for release in their sweat soaked skin. Jesse weighed down heavier, preventing his squirming and forcing him against the bed. He kissed the side of Hanzo's cheek, avoiding his moaning lips desperate for his mouth. His lips traveled along his jaw, into his neck, and over the outer rim of his ear. Another chuckle rumbled in his throat and Hanzo's tensed at the pleasing vibration. "Or are you sorry you didn't buy what we needed so I can fuck you right?"

Hanzo's entire body buckled into the bed with a guttural moan bubbling out his lips. Jesse felt the struggle give and released his hands, allowing his partner's touch. Hanzo pushed up from the bed, heaving Jesse into his lap. One hand flew to his face, grabbing at his jaw until he reached around to tangle his fingers in his sweat coated hair. The other hand slid between them, wrapping not only around his cock, but Jesse's as well. Quicker, more eager than Jesse's strokes. With as much intensity as the biting kisses he left in the hollow of the cowboy's throat. "Oh, baby, damn," Jesse hissed, allowing Hanzo to pull his head back with aggressive fingers. He whispered his curses to the dark ceiling with a smile.

With sweat pooling between their bodies and a tight grip, Hanzo stroked them together. His lips swallowed every part of Jesse's skin, no hesitation to speckle him with bruises and bites. Starving for touch, craving release. Ready to devour each shiver and noise that threatened to overcome Jesse's body. The cowboy rode into him, pumping his fluid length through Hanzo's steady fingers. "Next time," Hanzo fumbled out after leaving a dark mark above his collar bone. "Next time I will be more prepared."

"This will do just fine for now," Jesse breathed through a sigh, his throat scratched with lust. He gritted his teeth feeling Hanzo's muscles contracting against his skin. The fingers around his cock, his hips dug into his inner thighs, throbbing member against his own. He admired how Hanzo hadn't came with how close he was between Jesse's lips only moments before. Tension built in the pit of his stomach, thighs shaking the more he rode into the grasp. Hips moving fast, shutting his eyes tight as he envisioned pounding his lover into the hotel bed. Tomorrow, they would do that tomorrow.

He opened his eyes when Hanzo released his hair and looked down to stare at his flushed companion. Hanzo staring back at him, lips open with quiet but rapid breaths. Dark eyes searching every feature of his rugged face. Tracing every scar and stress line of their journey with his eyes. Blue. Jesse saw blue staring back at him. Blue sucking all the terrible strikes of red from the sky in his mind. Drowning out the death, smothering the nightmares. Giving him something to hold onto in this world when other had left him for dead.

Jesse brought his hands against Hanzo's face, drawing him into a deep kiss as his rolling hips slowed. Still moving, still gliding through clasped fingers. But slow enough to feel every pulse and contraction between them. Pulling him closer to climax than any illicit fantasy ever could. Jesse pulled his lips away only a bit, enough to press his forehead into his lover's. To look him straight in the eyes as he finally reached the shared orgasm he hoped for after so many months. His cock throbbed as he poured warmth over his lover's fingers. Sharp, ragged breaths fell when he felt Hanzo's body buckle beneath his thighs. The archer shut his eyes and let his head fall back, his grip tight when he hit his breaking point. His voice choked out, body shaking, until they both came down in a simultaneous shiver. Hanzo braced himself with the clean hand behind them, his arm shaking to keep the supported.

Jesse let him fall against the bed as he remained on his knees, admiring the mess he made all over Hanzo's stomach. He searched for words, unable to muster anything more than a swallow and a thick sigh. "Shower?" Hanzo breathed out, reddened chest heaving as he wiped his hands off against his own skin. Jesse nodded, despite the now tuckered out state of his love worn body.

"Shower," he muttered back, unable to rip his eyes fro the beautiful sight splayed out beneath him. Sweat coated, tattoo stitched skin decorated in flushed reds and moonlight blue. A tired smile peaking not only Hanzo's lips, but the corner of his eyes as he closed them. "Shower sounds good." It was a sight he could get used to.

 

 

 

_The sky was clear. Not a single cloud in the sky. Beautiful blue. Sunny light. Jesse stared into the sky, comforted by the lack of red. How he hated the color. The way it used to paint the sky in blood. He loved blue so much more._

_He sat on the ground, chewing on the end of the cigarette as he held the smoke in his chest. Lush grass spread out before him, coating the dirty land once decorated in bodies. Now speckled in patches of green and dabble of beautiful flowers. A world he had never seen in person, much better than the nightmares that plagued his mind. A figure shuffled beside him and he turned his head to greet Hanzo as he did on most mornings._

_But it was not him. Instead a face all too familiar to him._

_Jesse straightened his back and threw his cigarette to the ground, kicking it out with the heel of his boot. "You didn't have to do that," the man beside him murmured and Jesse stared out into the field. "Jack's the one who doesn't like your smoking."_

_"You don't like it either, sir." Jesse stared at the crumbled cigarette pressed into the earth. He didn't need to look at his companion... his captain to know what he looked like. Same as always. Scarred, rugged, tired. Wearing that same stupid black beanie. Jesse hated it just as much as Gabe hated his cowboy hat. "But you aren't going to tell me what to do. At least with my habits."_

_Pulling his knees towards his body, Jesse pulled at the strings of a tear in his jeans. Twisting the thread between his fingers and yanking it from his pants. He let it go, watching the way the wind carried it a foot before them into the grass. Hiding the dirt once littered with blood. Where his mother once laid, where the woman begged him to stop. He knew it was all hidden by the lush green, but felt more at ease now that he couldn't see it. "Why did you leave me?" he questioned, licking at his lip. Wishing the cigarette still held its place. He needed something to keep his mouth busy. "Because I killed my mom?"_

_"You didn't kill your mother, McCree." His tone was firm, heavy like a brick in Jesse's ear. Not because of his voice, not because of his volume, but his words. Yes he did. He relived it a million times. The bullet between her eyes, like all the others who laid behind her. The blood from her mouth, her lifeless stare. He did that, and they left him. His nightmares reminded him every night. "You weren't in your right mind, kid."_

_Jesse brought a hand towards his mouth, at first mocking a cigarette. His finger twitching. Click, click, like the trigger of a gun. He stared in the field, waiting for it to shift to that violent red. For the figure to melt away, die in the dirt like everyone else._

_But everything was blue._

_That beautiful, calming shade of blue he had grown to love. Bathing him in safety, encircling him while he slept. He clenched his fist before his lips. He wanted to hold him. "You ran one night. We've been looking for you."_

_They... left him? He left them. He ran, and kept running._

_"It's obvious you've been doing alright on your own."_

A brilliant light filled the room. The blue, strong and tall, enveloped the entire hotel. Jesse opened his eyes, surprised to find the dragons at full size shrouding the bed. Strong tendrils, their burly length draped over the mattress. Hanzo still passed out in his arms. Jesse tightened his grip around his shoulders for a moment before jolting upright. A huddle of people stood at the foot of the bed, blurred by the field of blue. A vivid green stood in defense, matching the tremendous size of Hanzo's.

"Genji?" Jesse grunted and Hanzo finally woke, quick to dart up when he realized his dragons had taken a stand. He pushed himself back against the bed, the two lovers slack jawed at their sudden audience. Genji stood at the base of the bed with the wildest smirk across his face. Hands on his hips, shaking his head with a disappointed click from his tongue.

"Who are you?" Hanzo almost barked beneath his breath, more focused on the other three gathered in the room. Jesse narrowed his eyes, peering between the dragon's length. He didn't have to ask to know. He had seen them all in his dream, but he knew them long before that. Ana, Jack, and Gabe. His old group who he thought left them. Although now that he remembered, he left them. They seemed as entertained as Genji catching Jesse in bed with the heir to the Shimada throne.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Genji let his smile falter to a look of amazement. Their dragons were tense, but he knew they would not attack without a signal. "Your dragons," he muttered, throwing a hand up to his own to stand down. "They have appeared after so many years of absence." He paused, tilting his head as his own slithered down to its snake like size. It coiled up his leg and abdomen, tucking itself away into the comfort of his jacket. Hanzo's dragons remained in their burly state, snarling and caging the couple onto the bed. The longer the brothers met eyes, the bigger Genji's smile grew until he blurted, "Did they show up because you-"

Hanzo blurted something back in their native language, shaking his head. Jesse didn't understand, but had a good feeling Hanzo told him to shut it. It was pretty obvious was took place in the hotel last night. Genji huffed, nodding his head towards Jesse. "Don't start talking in Japanese because you don't want people to know-"

Jesse shook his head and threw his arms at his side in frustrated anger. "Ok, everyone out!" he yelled, Genji rolling through obnoxious laughter as he exited the room. The other three hesitated, all with amused faces, before also heading into the main part of the suite. Hanzo remained in the bed surrounded by his dragons as Jesse scooted his naked self to the door. He slammed it shut and locked it. For a moment he stood with his forehead against the door, body shaking with nerves. There was a click on the other side, and he assumed they went outside. His group, the group that left him. Or he thought they left him. They came back for him. He slammed his fist into the door and turned around, facing his bedded partner.

Hanzo hushed his dragons, holding his hands out to keep them steady as they lumbered over the bed. He seemed distraught, unable to get them to listen in either language. "Please stand down," he grunted, running his hand along the rough body of the one closest to him. They may have returned, but he was still not in complete control. "They danger as left, stand down." When neither of them would listen, Hanzo growled and threw himself back against the bed.

Jesse busied himself with finding their clothes scattered across the room. His boxers in a pile on the floor. He fished them off the ground with his foot and shimmied into them. He wandered towards the window that peered towards the outside. Gathered a few feet from their window on the curb of the hotel was Genji and the group of three. Ana listened to whatever in depth story Genji fed her. Gabe stood a bit off to the side, and Jack lingered further off, keeping eyes on their surroundings like a hawk.

Hanzo slithered out of bed and around his dragons, collecting his own clothes from the floor. He climbed into him, kicking aside the discarded towel from their shower last night. Where they ended up being a little more dirty than they planned. He came up behind Jesse, pressing his chest into his back, laying a soothing kiss along the back of his neck. He nursed a dark spot in the crook of his neck where his teeth once laid, whispering an apology. Hanzo wrapped his arms around him, fingers spreading over his bare stomach. "Do we trust them?" he muttered against his tan skin, and Jesse watched his once crew outside.

It had been months, but they all looked exactly as he remembered them. Had they been looking for him all this time? "They aren't after you. You got nothing to worry about."

Hanzo kissed his neck again. "Do we trust them?"

A zip popped through the air and Hanzo crooked his neck towards the bed. One of his dragons had down to its normal size. The other still huge, but content with sprawling against the bed. No longer on patrol, now lazy and defiant. Jesse sighed, drawing the curtain before catching eyes with Gabe outside. He turned to head towards the bathroom where the rest of their clothes dried in the shower. Hanzo followed, slow, keeping his distance. Although upset by his brother bringing in a clan of those unknown to him, he knew Jesse was more hurt. Genji must have known they meant something to Jesse. Good or bad, they couldn't be positive. They spent so long running from everyone, why would they open up to strangers at a time like this.

Jesse stormed into the bathroom, yanking down his jeans from the shower bar. He shook them out and slid into them, not even bothering to button them before sighing. The bathroom was a disaster, clothes strewn about after they rampaged through earlier. Their clean up shower lasted a whole two minutes before they were at each other's lips and Hanzo was on his knees. He ran his hand over his face, staring down at the mess around his feet.

Months. Months of believing they had left him. All that time spent running alone before Hanzo and Genji swept him up. Hanzo came behind him again, at first laying a hand along his back. Drawing his fingers down his spine, staring at a few marks he left on his skin. When Jesse did not budge, he returned to his spot against his back. Sneaking his hands around to help him tug his jeans over his hips, buttoning them in place.

Jesse bit his lip, scrunching his face as that dull pain pounded in the back of his mind. He wanted to go back to bed. Spend the rest of the day lying naked in Hanzo's arms. He didn't want to step outside and face the reality he kept running from. "If we need to run," Hanzo muttered as Jesse turned to look towards the mirror. The two of them standing together, Hanzo fitting against him like the piece of himself he lost. "I am prepared."

Jesse reached up and pulled Hanzo's hoodie from the shower bar, hugging it against his body. Still a little damp, not clean enough from its run in the bath water. Collected in warmth and whatever bit of Hanzo's scent lingered. He turned, Hanzo's arms still around him, and held the hoodie behind his lover. Offering the open arms from him to snake into. But Hanzo refused to let go, knowing his hands belonged around his companion instead of a wet hoodie. "They never did anything wrong," Jesse mumbled with their attention towards their feet. "They protected me after..." He killed his mother. He shut his eyes. He wasn't remembering things right. He killed a lot of people, but his mother wasn't one of them. "... my mother died."

Hanzo nuzzled his lip along the underside of his lover's chin. He knew once they stepped outside, the loving touches would subside. Not because of embarrassment, but because much serious matters waited for them there. There would be no time for idle hand holding and loose kisses if they were on the run again. Content with silence, Hanzo offered his lips for one last long kiss before going outside. Jesse obliged, despite the uncertainty dwelling in his mind. What if they weren't here to protect them? What if they were the people he should have run from, and that's why he took off? They may have picked him up after his mother passed... but why?

A comforting hand interrupted his thoughts by running against his jaw. Holding him in place, soothing fingertips scratching into his rough stubble. Hanzo stared at him with dark, but reassuring eyes, pulling him out of his mind as always. "I trust my brother's judgement," he muttered, bringing his other hand to draw back Jesse's bed head out of his face. "He made good judgement with you."

Outside was nicer than it had been for days. The grass and trees coated in early morning dew and last night's rain. Although cloudy, it wasn't quite as cold. Despite that, Jesse stood tense, staring at the crew who left him. Or, well, the crew he disappeared from. "Why did you run off like that, kid?" Gabriel muttered with his arms crossed, staring down at Jesse with narrowed eyes. He seemed angry, his vice low. But there was a hint of relief underlying his words.

Jesse took in a heavy breath, looking between the three. It had been months since he saw their faces. It was as if his nightmares tried to keep him from remembering. Ana with darkness pouring from her hood. Violent red pooling from the cloth instead of her usual smile. Heartfelt, although intimidating. Dark eyes decorated with stressed wrinkles, raven hair striped with gray. A pick up from their journey most likely. And Jack, standing miles away with his back turned. A vibrant blue, but not the kind that soothed him. Nothing like Hanzo's dragons. One that reminded him to keep his back straight, put out that cigarette, and remove his hat. A stern voice, but one that supported him when needed.

"Don't remember doing that, sir," Jesse muttered back. He looked up at Gabe, then towards Hanzo who lingered behind him. "I thought ya'll left me."

"You left one night during your watch," Jack stated, his eyes surveying the area and the two brothers. "You were long gone before we caught on."

For a while, we were able to track your location, but you were always out of reach," Ana continued. She stood before and straightened out his leather jacket. Removing his hat, she patted down his hair in disdain. "You need a haircut, boy." Jesse's shoulders slumped, dejected. Not exactly his top priority. Genji snickered somewhere near them and Hanzo tucked his own hair over his shoulder. "And then, we could no longer track you. Something jammed your signal, something was blocking us."

A pulse of warmth graced his back and he looked over his shoulder to where Hanzo stood closer. His fingers between his shoulder blades, silent as he watched the woman before them. Blue warmth. Hanzo's dragons had been protecting him all along. From the side, Gabriel tilted his head, noticing the simple exchange between the two.

_It's obvious you've been doing alright on your own._

"We got a call shortly after about another experiment target on the run. Two brothers. One already tainted, the other unable to be tamed." Hanzo lifted his head and tore daggers through Gabe with his eyes. His fingers tightened around Jesse's jacket, bringing them closer.

With a huff through his nose, Hanzo barked, "It was you who-"

"Kidnapped you? Brain washed you? Not us." Gabe looked between the two brothers.

"We rescue those targeted by the people who did this to you." Ana bowed her head and stepped away from Jesse. She sensed the energy from the two and smiled, holding the silent understanding that he meant no harm. But he would not hesitate to hurt anyone who came between them. "It was how we found McCree. Your mother..." She paused, looking towards Jesse with a heavy heart, her smile faltering. How he looked like his mother. "She was trying to keep you from them."

Genji held up one hand before she could continue. "So you know who they are? The people who changed my brother."

"Somewhat." Gabe bunched his shoulders in disappointment. He looked towards his partner who stood further in the distance, keeping watch on the hotel. People headed to their cars, a shuttle picking up some guests headed for the wineries. Good thing people weren't actually paying attention. They looked like a suspicious group of disheveled warriors. Jack didn't like it, and he kept exchanging silent glances with Gabe that they needed to move. "We know enough to figure out who they will target next."

"Your mother reached out to us when she caught wind that those she traveled with were corrupting you." Ana lowered her head towards the ground, avoiding eye contact with the older brother. He watched her with the intensity of an assassin. One hand on Jesse's back, the other ready to whip out the bow over his shoulder. The group did not present any immediate danger, but as he told his newfound lover, he was ready to run. "She said you were changing, becoming violent. But didn't remember. It was becoming dangerous for both of you, my boy."

Jesse searched every crevasse of his mind for a happier memory of his mother before he lost himself. Before all the terrible nightmares, the running. He spent his life running along side her and couldn't remember the moment he switched. He only knew the pain in his head grew worse every night, and he grew distant. And quiet. And even though he craved her love and attention, it dwindled away until... he blacked. And when he came to, she was dead. His hand twitched at his side, craving something to hold. A cigarette, his gun. A hand. Warmth pulsed against his back and he leaned into Hanzo's palm. "But during her attempts to transfer you to us, she was killed in front of you."

Gabe's voice was as sharp as the bullet that pierced between his mother's eyes. Shot. She was shot... by someone else. "You lost it. Killed almost everyone in sight." Genji straightened his body, his eyes widened as he stared at his travel companion. Hanzo let his attention fall to the floor as if he should not hear this conversation. But Jesse did not care. He didn't care who heard. He wanted to know what happened. "We took you in and tried to preserve your mind. But you took off."

The dreams made sense. Pieced together moments of his past. Distorted, violent. For months and months, the image of his mother in the dirt at his feet. Dead, but not by his bullet. The others in the ground where they deserved. The red flooding the sky and filling his brain with painful distortions. Maybe they were never nightmares, but the times when his brain snapped. When he became that other person too dangerous to his mother, and too dangerous to himself.

Like Hanzo in the hotel room with the blade to his neck. A different person staring him down.

Jesse shook his head, letting out a rapid tumbling breath as he noticed everyone staring at him. Ana with concern, Genji unnerved. Gabe and Jack with stoic expressions. Jack now with annoyance, staring towards their destination as the hotel cleared. Jesse turned his attention away, looking behind him where Hanzo lingered. The hand that hovered towards his bow lowered. His eyes oozed patience as he waited for Jesse to come back to him. "We wish to take you back in, if you will let us," Ana interrupted, remaining in her spot when Gabe began to walk. She looked not only to Jesse, but the brothers as well.  
The three boys remained silent, the brothers staring at Jesse, waiting on an answer. He shut his eyes for a moment, shoving back the rumbling clouds of red billowing in his brain. These people did nothing to him. They took him in when his mother tried to protect him. It wasn't their fault he ran away. But... Fingers linked within his own as Hanzo took his hand, hiding their touch behind his back.

"You are welcome to stay as long as you need. Forever, or at least until you have come to a peace of mind." Ana nodded her head, looking over her shoulder towards her companions off in the distance. Jack waved her to join them, and Gabe shrugged. "I know you are hesitant, and you are adult enough to make your own decisions. But it would sure beat running." She smiled and bowed her head, spinning on her heel to join her troop half a mile away.

Genji perched his hands on his hips, looking at the group ahead of them. "Having a place to stay would be nice," he whistled more to himself than his companions. "And if we get there and it's no good... then I guess we'll run." Without agreement from the other two, Genji patted his coat pocket for the little pulse of green. His dragon popped its head from his collar, looking over his shoulder as Genji sprang away.

"You trust your brother?" Jesse questioned feeling Hanzo stand beside him. Their hands remained linked behind his back. "He seems okay with this."

"I do." Hanzo squeezed his fingers, coursing his thumb over the top of his hand. Jesse took in a long breath before his turned his back towards the group. Bowing his head for a moment to take Hanzo's hands against his lips. Laying a kiss over the edge of his fingerless gloves. "Having a home... even temporary, will be better than aimless wandering. But I will go wherever you do, like you did for me."

Jesse looked at him in the blissful sunlight of the morning. How the sun soaked into his dark hair, and speckled blue in the cloudy sky reflected off his eyes. The dragons returned to their home residing in his body and the warmth kept him safe. Radiating from his fingers, spreading to every nerve in his body. Protecting him. "Who else will hold you when you have nightmares?" Hanzo muttered when Jesse laid another kiss on his fingers out of sight from the troop. Stolen away and safe on his lips.

"Don't think I'll be having any more of those."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you, thank you, thank you for your patience and understanding during this time. I hope to get back into the swing of regular writing as I've missed it in these past few months. My brain and heart are healing and I think this is the best outlet to get out my frustrations.
> 
> If you want to support me in any way, check out my Instagram and Ko-Fi. Links are in my profile.
> 
> So I was going to just end it there, but I think you all deserve an extra chapter of nonsensical smut, right? Right? Cause that's what you're getting... eventually. Hopefully quicker than this chapter since I already have a third of it done.


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